Parenthood is not in the park in the park. There is not all fitting manuals on how to raise children who are respectful, responsible and resistant. Sometimes, despite our best intentions, we end the qualities of our children, which make them, well, hard.
Psychology notes that certain parental behavior can inevitably form a child, it is difficult to settle. In my search for individual growth and self-knowledge, I found that understanding this behavior could help us become more valid parents.
It’s not about guilty, but about learning and transforming our children and our actions.
1) Lack of consistency
The consistency is key in any way of life, and the parent is not different.
According to the famous psychologist’s BF Skinner, “the positive reinforcement form is more important than the money.” In other words, we are not about praising or rewards your child. It’s about being consistent with your feedback and answers.
Parents who raise difficult children often display inappropriate behavior. One day they can sleep strictly, the next day they allowed their child to stay late. This lack of everyday and predictability can confuse children and lead to pursuit.
Remember, it’s not about tough or infallible, but about providing a stable environment where your child knows what to expect. This can help build their sense of security and general behavior.
2) Overpricing
We all want to give our children the world. I remember when my daughter was born, I promised that I would give her everything she had ever wanted. But over time, I realized that this approach was not really beneficial.
Famous psychologist Carl Jung once said: “The biggest tragedy of the family is the unknown life of the parent.” This quote deeply resonated with me. It made me understand that the overvaluation of children is not a sign of love, but reflects our own desires and unresolved dreams.
Giving each whim and desire can lead to behavior in children. They begin to expect things to be handed over to them without understanding the value of hard work and patience. This can make them difficult because they are increasing.
Trust me, learning to say “no” at the right time is as important than saying “yes”. It’s all about a balance of balance.
3) Avoiding difficult conversations
Let’s be real. Parenthood is not always a sun and rainforest. There are hard, awkward conversations we need to have with our children. However, avoiding these discussions can lead to a problematic behavior.
I remember the famous quotation of Sigmund Freud. “Unexplained emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will later out in ugly ways. ” This is perfectly used here. When we avoid discussing difficult topics with our children, they can develop skewed prospects or confuse with confusion.
Whether it’s about birds and bees, death or failure. These conversations help to shape their ideas about the world around them. Running them does not make them disappear. It just leaves our children badly saturated to deal with them.
So, as much as possible, we must face these talks. It is part of a reasonable reality to raise well-rounded individuals.
4) Lack of emotional access
Emotional availability is the cornerstone of the child’s emotional development. I remember when my son passed his first heart break, I welter it as simply “baby stuff”. But then I realized the importance of being emotionally available to him.
Eric Erikson, a psychologist for the famous development, said: “Life doesn’t make sense without interconnection. We need each other, and the sooner we learn that, the better for us. ” This is especially true of parent-child relationships.
Parents who are emotionally far away or unavailable can inevitably complicate difficult children. Children need to know that their feelings are valid and that they can rely on their parents for emotional support.
By opening a secret and showing compassion, we teach our children how to engage in their feelings in a healthy way. This not only stimulates emotional intelligence, but also helps to build a strong parent-child bond.
5) Being too protective
This may sound a repulsive. After all, as parents, our instinct is to harm our children. But there is so much that it is extremely protective, and it can lead to difficult children to increase.
Well-known psychologist Albert Bandura, known for his social learning theory, said once.
When we are constantly crawling on our children, preventing them from making mistakes or to face challenges, we inevitably promote their growth. They can be too reliable to us and fight for independence and flexibility later in life.
Our goal is to protect them from all their difficulties, but equal them with skills to navigate through life challenges.
6) not setting bounds
Borders are an important part of parenthood. It teaches children respect, self-control and responsibility. However, parents who can’t define those bounds often end up raising difficult children.
Famous psychologist Abraham Maslow once said: This quote emphasizes the importance of defining high but affordable standards for our children.
When we don’t set boundaries, we create an environment of uncertainty. The children need to bloom the structure. They need to understand that their actions have consequences, and those rules are in place for their well-being.
Remember that setting boundaries is not to be strict or controlling. It’s about creating a safe and structured environment where your child can grow and flourish.
7) Negative fastening
I will be the first one to admit that the parenthood can disappoint. There were times when I found that I turned to negative strengthening to discipline children. But over time, I learned that this causes more harm than good.
Famous psychologist BF Skinner said: “The consequences of behavior determine the probability that the behavior will happen again.” This is the essence of its theory on the operator’s conditioning.
When we constantly apply to negative strengthening, sanctions, threats or shouts. We can inevitably raise difficult children. Negative reinforcement can lead to frustration, fear and even rebellious behavior.
Instead, try to focus on positive reinforcement. Praise good behavior, encourage efforts and create an environment where your child motivates himself to do well, not be afraid.
8) Unrealistic expectations
Parents can sometimes turn into expectations of the game and I have been guilty of myself. We want our children to succeed, but it can solicit unrealistic expectations for the rebellion and difficulty.
Psychologist Carl Rogers said: “The only person who is educated is he who has learned how to learn and change.” This quote reminds us that every child is unique at study and growth.
Parents who constantly motivate their children to meet high, unrealistic standards, often end in stress, worried or rebelling children. It is important to understand and accept our children’s abilities and restrictions.
Our role is to guide and support them in their journey, not to dictate their way, based on our own expectations.
9) is preferable to achievement
It can contradict what you hear, but the overpayment on achievement can lead to difficult children to increase.
Psychologist Carol Dweck’s Mindset research imagines here. He said. “Praise of children’s intelligence harms motivation, and it hurts the performance.” What he encourages instead to make great efforts, not the results.
Parents who consistently push for high schools, winning sports or other achievements often increase children who are afraid of failure. They learn to equate their values to their achievements, leading to failures to solve trouble and difficulty.
It is important to emphasize efforts, education and growth to purely achievements. This helps to feed children in children, giving them the opportunity to become resistant and adaptive individuals.
10) Lack of heat
As a father, I know how easy it is to rush to life in a hurry and forget to show warmth for our children. But this seemingly small thing can have a profound effect on their behavior.
Psychologist Virginia Satan is known. We need eight hugs for one day of service. We need twelve hugs for one day growth. ” This emphasizes the importance of physical heat in the development of the child.
Parents who are free to hold or limit the heat can lead to difficult children to increase. Children need love and warmth to feel safe and appreciated. Without it, they can come up with attention or develop insecurities.
Remember, showing heat exceeds hugs and kisses. It is about presenting, listening and interest. This promotes a feeling of belonging and security, which is very important for their emotional well-being.