Have you ever walked the room and experienced the walls mixed?
The feeling of invisibility can leave a printed in our hearts, making it difficult to establish it in the world.
In my early twenties, I remember feeling uncomfortable when someone praised me.
Some of me wanted authentication but another part of me felt restless as I deserved it.
At that time, what I didn’t realize that I still believed that I was invisible or recognized unworthy.
I have witnessed the same dynamic in many women who have grown by feeling invisible.
It affects them to speak, listen and even to love.
Let’s open some of these behaviors that can occur early in life.
1: People-pleasure occupies a central stage
Have you ever caught yourself, accepting you are afraid or agree with the opinions that are not just to keep your own?
This trend is often rooted in childhood. When we don’t feel, we may be equal to being a “good girl”.
I have heard customers say:
It is the feature of not feeling known for the child.
The people Psychology today Stand behind it, noting that people are pleasantly connected with the fear of insecurity and rejection.
It is a means of ensuring the survival of the nervous system. If I’m pretty nice, maybe I will not be ignored or ignored.
But that behavior can lead to internal conflict.
By sacrificing your own needs for the approval of others, it causes outrage, lowers self-esteem and can even cause burning.
2. It is difficult to take a compliment
“It’s not really a big deal … I’ve just been lucky.” How often do you listen to women how their success or the properties of that line?
This is something I personally fight and often see my customers.
When you have grown up to feel invisible, compliments can experience an unexpected attention that shines on you tightly.
Instead of falling into a steep, you may try to remove a duck from it.
If we make good words, it’s usually because we haven’t learned how to be kind to ourselves.
Positive feedback recognition and internalization is a skill that can be developed with practice.
3. It is worth proving oversized
“I have to be the best in it, or otherwise I’m nothing.”
This may seem dramatic, but for someone who has never experienced the suprise can become the Self-Certificate of Self.
In childhood, if your efforts have been ignored or grown by sister, you can grow up, believing that everything should pay attention to everything.
I once worked with a customer who confessed that he had felt huge relief, only when he received a promotion or prize. Everything lacked anxiety and a completely flawless feeling.
Our self-esteem can be tangled with foreign achievements when our sense of identity is insufficient.
So it’s not surprising that if you never did it as a child, you can rush to be established through cups, perfect grades, job titles. I’m good enough. “
The problem is that external authentication is rarely filling that internal invalidity.
4. Prefering preference in the center of attention
Quote time, friends. Susan Cain once wrote: “There is a zero relationship between being the best speaker and having the best ideas.”
He referred to an invasion, but this insight touches how many women who ignore because children often choose background.
Maybe they were taught that their opinions or presence did not matter. So they learned to rest or retreat to the corners of the gathering, wanting to mingle.
In my blog, love connection, I have referred to the idea that self-expression is complicated when you are used to feeling invisible.
Can you hide your talents to swing the boat? Can you keep silent in matches even when you have a brilliant idea?
And over time, this ordinary retreat can be formed in distorted identity. The shy girl, a quiet type, the follower, but never the leader.
5. Fights to trust in relationships
Feeling unattractive in your formal years can doubt you in the intentions of others.
After all, if the people who need to make you endeavored to you, how can you trust anyone to see who you are really?
I noticed women who stayed in a relationship, they always expect that the other shoe will fall.
They are a matter of compliments, gifts or goodness actions because they are sure it must come with attached lines.
Surprisingly, this distrust can comb their love that they want so desperately.
Start yourself in a small steps to trust this cycle.
If you experience an example of suspecting sincerity of others, you remind yourself that you deserve love and real communication.
Slowly you can reset a sense of security.
6. Bottle of feelings before explode
Maya Angelu is known to say: “There is no greater psychiatric than wearing a history of your inside.”
These women have grown to swallow words and emotions.
Over the years, these unexplained feelings can accumulate like pressure boiler.
Maybe you remember a certain moment of childhood when you tried to speak out, and no one could hit.
This memory can remain in your subconscious, saying that the exchange of emotions is meaningless or worse, it is dangerous.
So you will make a bottle to keep peace.
Exclusively all these inexplicable feelings can get out of unexpected ways. You can avoid partner, pour tears during small separation, or suddenly connect with a limit that you did not communicate.
What helps to find small, safe nozzles for your emotions, as a journalist, therapy or supporting friend?
In time, you will discover that telling your story, whether the story of frustration, anger or sadness becomes more terrible and more liberated.
7. The fear of authentic vulnerability
Vulnerability is a risk.
When you have never seen your real self, you may be afraid that it will really be adjusted to be more refusal or dismissal.
You can become a brave face or treated personality expert to protect the delicate parts of your heart.
Eght The lack of early emotional authentication can lead to difficulty to determine and express one’s needs.
If you grew up with an invisible, you can wrestle with a paradox. To see a deep hunger seen to be exposed to an equally deep horror.
That’s the one who never really didn’t accept mirror.
Here is the truth, though. Vulnerability is exactly what stimulates deep connections.
Vulnerability, despite the cowardice, is an essential part of the construction of authentic relations.
If you never open the window for your real self, you can’t invite anyone to see how remarkable you are actually.
Final Thoughts:
It is necessary to understand that none of these behaviors are permanent sentences.
It is possible to start with compliments to feel more comfortable, to set health boundaries and find out the idea that you need to demand more or ask for the table.
If you keep the same with this behavior, consider small steps towards treatment.
This can mean your feelings, looking for therapy, explicitly talking to a trusted friend or even reading emotional health resources.
Your experience is important, your feelings are important, and it’s never too late to restore your own life history.