Some people are just hard. They argue for arguing, they refuse to hear or always seem to be in a bad mood.
But here’s how you react to them can make all the differences. Instead of being disappointed or in their negativity, you can control the conversation with the right words.
The main thing is to know what to say and how to say. Some expressions instantly move the dynamics, which allows you to stay calm, confident and control without aggressive or manipulative.
Here are seven powerful expressions that will give you the upper hand in dealing with difficult people.
1) “I understand you are upset.”
Difficult people often just want to hear. When someone is disappointed or argued, their emotions usually go to the conversation. If you answer with protection or rejection, it only exacerbates the situation.
A simple way to control. Accept their feelings. “I understand that you are upset,” does not mean that you agree with them. It just shows you recognize their emotions.
And when people listen, they are more likely to calm down and actually listen to what you have.
This phrase gently carries dynamics in your favor. Instead of being their opponent, you position yourself as someone who is reasonable and controls the conversation.
After feeling unstoppable, they will be much more open to find a solution.
2) “Let’s find a solution that works for both of us.”
Hard people like to turn each conversation into battle. They want to win and they want you to lose.
But the moment you eliminate the situation as collaboration instead of the competition, you take their strength.
I once had a colleague who always tried back to my ideas during meetings. No matter what I offered, he argued against it, sometimes just to argue.
At first I was disappointed and I would try to prove my opinion even more difficult, but it’s only worse.
Then I tried something else. The next time he fired one of my ideas, I said calmly. “Let’s find a solution that works for both of us.”
Which one sentence completely changed his approach? Instead of getting back, he paused because it’s not about him now. It was to work together.
Difficult people prosper into conflict. But when you refuse to play their game and focus on collaboration, you stay in control and often get what you want in the process.
3) “What would you like me to do?”
When someone is difficult they often catch a complaint or criticize without proposing real solutions.
Instead of protecting or pushing back, ask them directly. “What would you like me to do?”
This question makes them move from intimacy. It puts them on responsibility to understand a reasonable request.
And many times will they understand that what they are looking for is not really realistic, or that they don’t even know what they want.
Negotiation research shows that people are more likely to cooperate when they feel that some control over the result.
By asking this question, you feel a feeling of control, while you still expect their lawsuit to be practical. It is a simple way to convert negativity to an effective conversation.
4) “I listen to you, and that’s what I can do.”
Difficult people often focus on what they can’t get, which keeps them stuck to complain or demand more than reasonable.
Instead of turning them off or not openly saying, try this phrase. “I listen to you, and that’s what I can do.”
This answer does two things. First of all, it accepts their concerns that help to soften the tension.
Second, it changes the conversation in the direction of solutions, defining clear boundaries about what you are ready to offer.
You authenticate someone’s feelings when you keep the outcome control too.
Instead of letting a difficult person dictate the conversation, you correct it to something fruitful on your terms.
5) “I want us to be on the same team.”
The conflict may force even small disagreements to March. And when someone is hard, it’s easy to slip into a defensive mindset where you feel against them.
But such thinking is only worse.
I was struggling with it for a long time. Any time someone was short with me or shortened, I would personally take and would answer frustration.
After all, I realized that instead, instead, I need to change the dynamics in full instead.
“I want us to be on the same team,” movements moves from competition to collaboration.
It reminds the other person that you are not their enemy, and that the goal is not to fight, but find a solution.
More often than not, this lowers their protection and makes them more open to listen.
6) “Let’s take a moment for a second.”
When emotions are rising, logic seeks to get out of the window. Difficult people often catch their disappointment they lose a larger picture.
This is where this phrase comes here. “Let’s take a second step.”
This simple sentence is doing two things. First, it interrupts the emotional moment of the conversation, forcing a brief pause.
Second, it gives a signal to the comprehensible situation of both promising-encouragement to reassess the situation with a clearer head.
The study of conflict resolution shows that even a short break or mental recovery can significantly reduce tensions and lead to more effective discussions.
Instead of allowing the spoils instead, this phrase helps the conversation return to a place where it can make real progress.
7) “You can be right.”
Difficult people expect resistance. They expect an argument. But when you say. “You can be right,” they throw them out of balance.
This phrase does not mean that you accept that they are right. Simply acknowledges that their prospects exist. And when they feel recognized, they are much less likely to continue to push.
People just don’t want to gain an argument. They want to hear and respect.
When you give them they often stop being so hard first.
Lower line. Control is a choice
Difficult people are prospering to the conflict, but the conflict continues only when both sides are involved. The real power lies how you prefer to answer.
Psychologists have long studied emotional regulation, and one basic result is that it gives a significant advantage in tense situations.
When you control your words and reactions, you are affected by the conversation direction without excess arguments.
The right phrases are not only the management of others. They refer to possession of your own thinking.
Staying compiled, defining boundaries, and transformation negativity controls you no matter how difficult the other person is.