Have you ever wondered, “I wish I had more friends” or “Why do people seem distant to me?”
Well, you’re not alone, and the answer may surprise you.
You see, we all want to be liked and loved. But sometimes, without realizing it, we do things that push people away. Yes, you read that right.
According to psychology, there are certain actions and habits that we unconsciously adopt that can make us less attractive to have
So if you’re wondering what this behavior might be, stick around.
OK, ready for some introspection? Let’s dive in!
1. Dominant discourses
Have you ever found yourself talking to others?It’s easy to get carried away, especially when you’re passionate about a topic.
But here’s the deal.
Conversations are meant to be shared, not monologues.When we dominate the discussion, it can make the other person feel unheard or unimportant.
Psychologists suggest practicing active listening. This involves really focusing on what the other person is saying rather than planning your next response. It shows that you value their thoughts and feelings.
2. Being overly negative
I admit I was guilty of this one.
A few years ago, I found myself in a bit of a mess. Every conversation seemed to turn into a rant about something wrong. I was frustrated with work, upset about personal issues, and it all started spilling out.
The thing is, no one likes to jump around all the time. It’s emotionally draining. And I soon noticed that people were avoiding conversations with me.
Psychology tells us that negativity can be contagious. If we’re always complaining or focusing on the bad, it can push people away.
It was a hard pill to swallow, but it made me realize the importance of maintaining a positive outlook. Yes, we all have our bad days, but it’s important not to let negativity become our default state.
Now I make a conscious effort to find the silver lining in difficult situations and share positive vibes as much as possible.It has made a world of difference in my relationships.
3. Not admitting your mistakes
Here’s something we all know, but often forget. we are human and to be human is to make mistakes.
There was one time when I messed with work and tried to sweep it under the rug, thinking it would go unnoticed or maybe someone else would get the blame.
But guess what? It did not go unnoticed, and worse, my attempt to avoid responsibility was blatantly obvious to my colleagues.
Psychology tells us that people respect those who can admit their mistakes and take steps to correct them. On the other hand, avoiding responsibility can lead to mistrust and distance in relationships.
It was a hard lesson learned, but it taught me the value of honesty and integrity.
Now that I’m involved, I own it. It’s not always easy, but it’s definitely helped me build stronger, more authentic connections with those around me.
4. Ignoring boundaries
Respecting boundaries is important in any relationship, whether it’s with friends, family, or colleagues. These boundaries can be related to time, personal space, or even topics of conversation.
Now, the tricky part is that these boundaries are often left unspoken, so we can end up crossing them without even realizing it.
This is what psychology says. constantly ignoring someone’s boundaries can make them feel disrespected or uncomfortable, and over time it can alienate them.
So how do we fix this?
It’s all about communication and empathy.Let’s try to understand other people’s comfort zones and respect them.
5. Being on your phone all the time
Here is a situation we are all familiar with. You’re trying to have a conversation with someone, but they keep looking at their phone. Annoying, right?
In today’s digital age, our phones have become an extension of us.The average person checks their phone 58 times a day.
But while we’re busy scrolling through social media or answering emails. emails, we can ignore the people in front of us.
Psychology suggests that this constant distraction can make others feel unimportant or neglected, alienating them over time.
Next time you’re with someone, try putting your phone away. Be present in the moment. It’s a small change that can make a big difference in your relationship.
6. Not showing empathy
We all go through ups and downs and in those difficult times we need someone who can understand and share our feelings the most.
I remember a friend who was going through a difficult time. He opened up to me about his struggles, and instead of really listening, I quickly went into problem-solving mode. I thought I was helping, but I was actually invalidating his feelings.
Psychologists emphasize the importance of empathy in relationships.By showing that we truly understand and share someone’s feelings, we can create strong, emotional bonds.
From that day on, I learned to hold space for people to express their feelings. Sometimes all we need is to listen and show that we care.
7. Not being your true self
Here’s the big one: authenticity.Pretending to be someone you’re not is exhausting and not fair to you or the people around you.
People can sense when you’re not being sincere. And while it can be tempting to put on a mask to fit in or impress others, it’s not sustainable.
Psychology tells us that authenticity is the key to building strong, lasting relationships.People are drawn to honesty and sincerity.
So be yourself. Embrace your quirks, your passions, your strengths and even your weaknesses. Authenticity attracts authenticity.
And those are the kinds of connections that truly enrich our lives.
Final thoughts
If you’ve noticed some of your own behaviors at these points, don’t worry, remember that self-awareness is the first step to improvement.
Change may not come instantly, but through conscious effort and patience, we can modify our behavior. It’s about creating a balance by respecting others while respecting our own needs and feelings.
Start by recognizing these habits in your daily interactions. Whenever you find yourself in these patterns, take a moment to ask yourself: “Am I authentic? Do I respect both myself and the other person?”
With time and practice, these pitfalls will become easier to avoid. You will find that your relationships become more fulfilling and authentic. You will attract people who appreciate you for who you really are.