I have always marked the delicate ways of experience in our childhood, how we think we feel and act as adults. One of my close friends was constantly worried that he was “too much” for people. If he was inspired by a new idea, he would immediately return and questioned or was irritating.
When we talked about it, he shared his mother often removes his feelings. When he tried to express himself, he was told to be “tightened” or “stop dramatic.”
This forced me to study the study in childhood. Especially how does it affect girls who later become women?
In this post I want to study eight behaviors that women can show if they experienced maternal emotional ignorance. My hope is to shine light on these patterns can be more compassionate and understand.
1. They have problems with trusting their own feelings
I noticed that many women who grew up without consistent support of their mothers, as if the second was guessed by their own emotional answers. They may feel sad, hurt or feel excited, but they immediately think if they “allow” to feel that way.
I have talked to women who say they have told him that they “overgrowth” as children, so now they question each emotion.
In time, this self-confidence can become a habit. Instead of recognizing a valid signal instead, they are aside to brush or seek someone else to confirm. They seemed to never know that their inner world is worth paying attention.
This uncertainty often bears adult relationships and work settings, where they can rely great for external authentication. Confessing for me that our emotions are legal. No matter how big or small is the first step to treat any kind of emotional ignorance.
2. They fight close relationships
Another behavior I have seen is an example of the difficulty of creating and maintaining close relationships. If a woman is often fired by her mother, she may have learned early at the beginning that people are not reliable help.
As an adult, he can keep an emotional distance with even romantic partners or friends, because he is afraid to go down again.
It can be something simple, as forever taking it to open personal struggles or instead of doing jokes instead of showing vulnerability. On the past, some women can form very fast attachments, hoping to fill that emotional emotional gap.
Or or the problem underlying in the scenario is trust. When you did not have a reliable maternal figure that validated your feelings, you might unconsciously assum that others would not really be there for you. Recognition of this dynamic can be painful, but it also paves the way to build deeper, healthy relationships.
3 They feel worth noting
I have met women who are really uncomfortable receiving attention or praise. They may not be compliments, “Oh, it’s nothing,” or “anyone could do it.” With my experience, this returns to the feeling of inconvenience that requires root when the mother is unable to celebrate its child’s achievements or feelings.
Instead of learning to study in their achievements, they grow up, believing that they are not enough. When good things happen, they doubt that it is success or someone else’s generosity than the result of their own merits.
This way of thinking, known as some framework of “stimulating phenomena”, can see in career, companies and personal passions. According to Dr. Carol Vanner, recognizing your value and opportunities is important to succeed in developing healthier prospects.
I like to remind people that we can convey these beliefs about us. Even if it means to make confirmations every day or accept a small profit.
4. All expenses are avoiding collisions
Some women who have missed the supportive maternal presence, avoid collisions like the plague. When disagreements arise, they can return immediately or apologize even when they are not wrong.
In my coaching, I have seen the avoidance of this conflict can be a strategy overcome. If you grew up, feeling that your feelings and needs have been contacted, you can think that staying silent soothes everything.
But leaving aside the real concerns or differences of opinion often leads to the indignation of the line and misunderstandings. It’s hard to break this pattern. I know a few women who had to use something as simple as “I disagree” in a safe environment as a trusted friend just to confirm themselves.
It’s about recognizing the conflict when respected behavior can be a gateway of deeper understanding, not a threat of relations.
5. They feel responsible for other people’s emotions
Growing up with a mother who did not meet their emotional needs, some women learn to be hypersensitive to everyone’s feelings. They become the guardians of their friend or family. While being compassion is great, there is a difference in compassion and feeling and feeling that your job has “fix” everyone’s problems.
A friend told me he always expected to make the mother happy when the mother felt stressed or distressed. As an adult, he found himself overwhelmed, trying to make sure that everyone around him was comfortable, often at his welfare.
Realizing that every person is responsible for their own emotional state, it can be liberated. It does not mean that you stop caring. It simply means that you will constantly feel that you are constantly feeling that your role is to manage everyone’s mood.
6: They overestimate feedback
I am a great believer in growth and continuous improvement, but there is a difference between reflection of the reactions and the obsession with it.
Many women who engage in emotional ignorance tell me that they interpret the insignificant criticism as a sign of total failure. If the report is a small print note to a small type, they can read it as “I’m incompetent” or “they hate to work with me.”
This overperception can be exhaustive. Instead of the constructive use of feedback it becomes an emotional spiral. When we grew up without consistent emotional support, we can cling to external assessments for self-esteem.
Brené Brown often talks about how to make shame to believe that we are typical of perfect. Learning to distinguish between a healthy self-reflection and destructive crying during my life was a game-changer. It’s about understanding that feedback is just information, not a decision on your personal value.
7. They reduce their needs
“I’m good” can be a default answer to women who never recognized their needs. I have heard many stories of women who felt guilty for wanting anything to want something, attention, warmth or space. Instead, they fill energy in everyone’s priorities, leaving little for themselves.
This behavior may appear in simple daily interactions, agreeing with additional job assignments, saying yes social programs, which they are too tired or ignore the signs of burning. In the long run, your own needs constantly touching deep dissatisfaction.
I have seen one approach, “Non-negotiated Me-Time” calendar, even if it only breaks, magazines or stretches it only for 15 minutes. It is a mild reminder that you also deserve nutrition, and it helps to break your dead to put the habit for the last time.
8. They are within the limits of difficulties
Borders are cornerstone of healthy relations, but they can be especially tough for women who have not experienced emotional security in childhood. If your mother has repeatedly pushed or ignored your emotional boundaries, you may not have learned how to say “no” or “enough” without feeling intense guilt or fear.
I remember talking to a partner who felt restless to his roommate, to whom he had to have some calm time. He worried that his request would be considered a rejection. Deep Down, he was afraid of leaving if he had completely demands.
Set learning to confirm the boundaries is engaged and often involves inconvenient conversations. However, the borders protect everyone involved in promoting respect and clarity. Whether it asks for more personal space, you declare that you can’t stay at work every day, painting a line is essential to self-esteem.
Conclusion
The study of these eight behaviors showed me how deep emotional experiences can affect adult life. When a woman grows not feeling or heard by her mother, she can perform its relationship, career and personal well-being.
The good news is that awareness can be a powerful catalyst for changing. Even recognizing one or two of these features can open the door of new conversations, health borders and more valid ties.
I know that moving penetrated patterns is not easy. It often includes old assumptions and builds new emotional “muscle”. Whether it is looking for therapy by facing close friends, or simply reflecting many ways to start treatment.
I believe no one is defined exclusively with their past. We each have the opportunity to feed emotional warmth and understanding that we may not have received growing, and it can be a truly transformer journey.