Growing up extremely strict and intimidating parents left a sign. It shapes how you see yourself, how do you communicate with others, and even how do you do the challenges of life?
Some people believe that a harsh parental creates disciplined, high achieving adults that are under pressure prosperity. It is raised by hard rules and permanent criticism, builds stability and strong.
But the truth is often more complicated.
When fear and pressure replace heat and understanding, certain personality traits begin to take roots that may not think you in adults.
The psychology shows us that our collection simply does not repay the past. It affects our trust, our relationship, and even our ability to trust or trust.
Here are eight features of personality that can develop extremely strictly and intimidating parents with properties that can affect you today.
1) You fight with self-confidence
When you grow up in a house where mistakes are not tolerated and expected perfection, self-confidence becomes a second character.
You learn to interrogate yourself before you even act. Each decision feels like a test, and it can be a paralyzed fear.
Even as an adult, maybe the second guess your choice is to worry that you are disappointing someone or “wrong” move.
Instead of trusting your instincts, you are looking for external authentication. You can hesitate to risk, talk or go after you actually want, because since childhood, this important sound remains in your mind.
It’s not that you’re able to be able to believe that your best was never very good.
2) You find it difficult to make decisions
When you spend years, doubting yourself, making decisions becomes exhaustive. Even a small choice. What to wear what to eat, what movie will watch, can experience moments under pressure where one wrong move can lead to judgment or regret?
I’m still catching me the simplest things overthrow. I remember once standing in the trunk of the grocery store, looking at two different models of pasta for too long.
It wasn’t really about the paste. It was a familiar fear that he was afraid that if I did not choose the “right”, I somehow allowed myself to go down.
Bigger decisions are even more complicated. Career movements, relationships, life changes. Everyone comes with heavy weight. Instead of trusting my intestine, I analyze every possible outcome, fearing to make mistakes, which will prove, I am not able to.
Growing up with strict rules meant that there was always the wrong way to do the right way and deeds, and that way of thinking is difficult to shower.
3) You are very criticized for yourself
“The biggest mistake you can create in life continuously afraid that you will make.”
– Elbert Hubard
When you grow up in an environment where mistakes face harsh criticism or punishment, you begin to believe that things are unacceptable. Instead of seeing a teaching, it seems that you are not aware that you are not good enough.
That sound of criticism, which has come from your parents in time, simply does not disappear, it becomes your own. You reshape the conversations in your head by collecting what you say.
You focus on something you can do better instead you did right. No matter what you get, there is always a reason that it wasn’t so perfect.
Even success can feel cavity, because instead of indicating, you are already thinking about what can improve. Pressure Never really doesn’t leave. It’s just moving to come from others to come to yourself.
4) Do you fight to accept compliments?
The human brain is strained to pay more attention to negative feedback than positive.
Psychologists call it “negative bias.” It is from the instinct of survival. Our ancestors need to remember the dangers more than they needed to remember pleasant experiences.
But when you grow up with extremely strict and intimidating parents, this trend can become extreme.
If most of the feedback from you as a child was about what you were wrong, not what you did right, praise could feel unfamiliar, even uncomfortable.
A simple compliment can make you questionable. Are they just polite? Actually you mean that? Instead, letting kind words be dipped, you cut them or descend your achievements.
Even when someone really admires your job, your appearance or your skills, you can feel the urge to fix them or explain why you are actually worthy of praise. When criticism is what you are used to, goodness can feel more difficult.
5) You feel guilty to put yourself for yourself first
When your childhood was formed with strict rules and high expectations, your needs often came to a second or not at all.
The priority became pleasant to customers, and over time, you have learned that your value is related to how well you have followed the rules, it is satisfied with expectations, or avoid conflict.
That mindset simply disappears at adults. Even when you know you have to set boundaries or take care of yourself, restless feeling reptile. Prioritizing your kind-hearted feeling as if by allowing someone.
Even one thing, because it is clear that the break can come with sin. If you are not constantly effective or meet someone else’s needs, it may feel that you are making a mistake, as if self-employment is more luxury than needed.
When you’re conditioned to take yourself, choosing yourself can feel like a unspoken rule.
6) You find it difficult to trust others
Trust is something that develops when you feel safe when you know that people around you will support you than to judge or punish you for your mistakes.
But if you grew up in a house where love felt conditional, where did the confirmation should be made to trust others easily.
You can find yourself keeping yourself in a relationship, fearing that if people see the real one, they will recall their warmth. It feels risky to open, because there is deep, fear that mistakes or imperfections will lead to rejection.
Even when people show kindness and consistency, it is often calm that the background continues. Will change their minds. It’s not like you don’t want to trust others. It’s just taught that experience to be careful.
7) You apologize even when it is not your fault
When you grow in an environment where mistakes have met with anger or frustration, apologizing becomes reflex. It is a way to maintain peace to avoid conflict to alleviate any situation before it escalates it.
You say that when someone blows you. You apologize for asking questions to take space for things that are not even under your control. It is as if planned to take responsibility for everything, because in the past it saved you safe.
Even when you haven’t done wrong, there is a long-suffering belief that you may have. Perhaps you misunderstood, maybe you were too much, maybe you should do something else.
Apologies, it feels like staying good gifts of others, but over time it can feel you that you are always guilty.
8) You are struggling to know who you are actually
When your childhood was formed with strict rules and high expectations, most of your identity was built around who you assumed. Each decision, each action, each part of yourself is filtered through the issue. Will it be acceptable?
In time, this may make it difficult to know what you really want. What pleases you what makes you feel alive?
Instead of studying your own interests and values, you can find a pursuit of you, assimilating yourself to match the expectations of others.
Even as an adult, the need to be “right” can shade the need to be real. You can delay opinions to express passions or choices that feel true to you because it will be deep enough to be yourself.
Bottom line
The way you collect you formed you, but you don’t need to set it.
Psychologists call it neuroplasticity. Brain ability to transform itself based on new experiences. Just as strict and frightening parental shaped in you certain qualities, self-employed and conscious efforts can transform them.
Start by observing patterns. Self-confidence, hesitation, instinct to apologize or overthrow. When these moments arise, pause. Ask yourself. Is this faith really mine or did I teach something?
Growth does not ignore the past. It’s the word to understand and decide what to advance. You can learn to trust yourself, set boundaries to embrace who you are without judgment.
Treatment occurs in small steps. Determination of trust. He is a complimented compliment. For a moment where you choose yourself without sin. Each one is proof that change is possible.