If someone tells you, “you are so brave”, you may feel shocked. But wait what did they mean? Do they assume that you are facing a kind of adversity, they don’t think they will have the courage to face?
It’s a more complex thing about language. Some expressions, sounding sweetly on the surface, can be hidden.
I have learned that the hard way. And I bet, you were there too. That’s why I united a list of 8 phrases that sounds well from the beginning, but they are actually quite praising.
Let’s dive, we have to go.
1) “You are so brave”
Is it just a punch from the intestine? You think your own business, maybe sharing something proud of, then bam. Someone hits you “You are so brave.”
At first it sounds compliment. But then, you start to wonder what they meant. Do they assume that it is a typical thing or frightens your situation?
Of course, this may be meant to be praised for your courage. But it can also assume that a person thinks that you face a situation, they consider unusual or difficult, one that they may want to resist themselves.
And that’s when it starts to compliment less like a compliment and more on the head on the head. How do they know your struggle while making abnormally at the same time?
It’s my friends, sympathetically masked as a compliment.
2) “Good for you”
This one really takes me. I remember once, I excited about the partner that I started about the new project. Instead, instead of “congratulations” or “It’s interesting” I received a simple “good for you.”
At first it seemed positive response. But then I realized the underlying message. Is this unerring assumption that good for me cannot be good or impressive for others?
It seemed to blow me on the head and said: “It’s beautiful, you’re doing you all the time.” It seems that they gently looked at my achievements and brush them insignifically.
Although “good for you” can be like a compliment first, it can often be strictly disrupting your achievements.
3) “You look great to your age”
Let’s accept that we are all at age. It’s a natural part of life. However, society often views aging as something negative to fight something.
“You look great to your age” seems to be complimented on the surface, but it is often a veil of insult. By adding “for your age”, it assumes that a person should look worse, because they are bigger, or that they are good and old is unique.
In some cultures, age is respected and viewed as a sign of wisdom and experience, not something hidden or fighting. But such statements, as we show how our society often connects beauty and worth the youth.
The next time you want to compliment someone’s look maybe just stick “looking great.” There is no need to bring it to it.
4) “Bless your heart”
This one is classic. Especially in the United States, where it is often used as a polite means of expressing sympathy or concern.
But don’t make a mistake. “Bless your heart” can be a two-way sword. Yes it can really be used to show compassion. But more often than not, it’s a sweet-sounding way to tell someone they are naive, stupid, or just made wrong.
It’s as if he says: “Oh, you’re a poor thing. You just don’t know better. ” And that’s where the discomfort is installed.
The next time someone tells you to “Bless your heart”, take a moment to consider their tone and context. It can be as innocent as it seems.
5) “It’s interesting”
This phrase is my personal pet. I’ve heard that while sharing my ideas or thoughts when sharing my thoughts. “It’s interesting” can be a real answer, a sign that a person is fascinating or admired by what you say.
But, with my experience, it is often used when a person doesn’t really find what you say at all. They seem to be saying: “I do not agree with you, but I’m not going to argue about it.”
If I had one dollar every time I heard “It’s interesting” as a polite substitute of indifference or disagreement, I would be quite well.
Thus, while it seems pleasant, “It’s interesting” can be a delicate way of rejecting your ideas.
6) “I could never do what you do.”
This phrase may seem high praise at first glance. Sounds like they admire your skills or realize the difficulty of your task.
But there is a rough underwater here.
Saying they can “never do what you do” they could gently assume that your job or task is an unattractive or unattractive thing.
It’s complicated because it is very easy to misinterpret as a compliment. But in reality it can be just a polite means of religion or disagreeing for what you do.
7) “It’s From You”
This is a way of controlling or respecting your decision on the surface. But in certain contexts, “it is from you” can be a passive-aggressive form of saying. “I do not agree with you, but I’m not going to argue about it.”
May suggest that the person does not want to take responsibility for the decision or not care about the outcome.
Thus, while at first it may feel authorized, “it is from you,” it can actually be a rather short phrase. Beware of context and tone when this phrase is used.
8) “No offense, but …”
This phrase is the grandmother of all the back compliments. It is mainly a free passage to say something unrealistic or offensive, assuming that the preface is missing from the spokesperson of the guilt.
“No insults, but …” often followed a generalization of cleaning, insult or personal attack. It is a secret way to express an underestimate or criticism without getting responsible for the influence of a word.
Remember that just because someone says “no insults” does their comment no less offensive. If you have something that requires that this preface requires, maybe it’s better left unheards.
Understanding the power of words
Words are powerful tools. They can build bridges or tear them, raise us or push us. We have studied the phrases when you sound nice to the surface, carry a hidden weight that can gently disrupt or weaken.
It is important to remember that communication is not only about the words we say. We are talking about their intention and how they turn out.
The seemingly innocent expression can bite if it is delivered in a particular tone or in a particular context.
When we sail our conversations, let’s try to use our words really and respectful. Remember that every phrase we say is the potential for communication or division formation.
Let’s choose our words wise and remember, simply because a phrase seems pleasant does not mean that it is always.