If someone says “please” or “thank you” would you suppose they are polite? If they say “I’m sorry” would you like them to apologize?
Simple, right? Not always.
In fact, language can be a powerful manipulation tool. Some expressions, despite the seeming heat, can actually have a darker motivation.
Let’s study. I have discovered 8 phrases that seem polite to the surface, but often marks of manipulation. Can you guess what they are? Let’s dive.
1) “I’m sorry, but …”
The apologies are generally a sign of regret, isn’t it?
Well, not always.
“I’m sorry, but …”, although at the beginning of their apology, it is often a manipulate tactic.
Why, since it is usually followed by an excuse or justification that disrupts the sincerity of forgiveness itself.
It is a way to think that they are really wrong with their mistakes, they change their guilt or reduce the influence of their actions.
It may seem polite, but when you hear, “Sorry, but …”, be on your guard. To history is more likely than to satisfy the ear.
2) “No anxiety, good”
We’ve all said “it’s okay” when they weren’t really good, it’s not.
Take me an example. I had a friend who was always late for our meetings.
Now I’m clarifying, so this was a big deal for me. But every time he apologized, I would just say. “No worries, good.”
In fact, it wasn’t good. I was upset. But here is the fist. By “good”, I indirectly manipulate him thinking that his behavior was acceptable when he was not.
This phrase is commonly used in manipulative contexts, while relieving the other person, the real question is pressured.
When you hear “no worries, it’s okay” – make sure you dig deeper. It may not be as good as it sounds.
3) “I don’t want to bother you, but …”
This phrase has a knife to make our conversations its way. It seems polite, pay attention, but there is a turn.
When someone says: “I don’t want to bother you, but …” they already assume that they are, in fact, worry you.
It is a delicate manipulation that psychologists apply as a “preventive strike” by stage so that the recipient is obliged to hear or comply.
It seems that recognizing potential inconvenience is relieved for any sin that may feel for real inconvenience.
If you hear: “I don’t want to bother you, but …” Remember, it’s not as innocent as it sounds.
4) “I was just trying to help”
Helping others is an honest act, isn’t it? But what is it when it is used as a shield manipulative behavior?
“I was just trying to help” a phrase that is often used to justify tips or actions to cross personal boundaries.
It can be a way for the other person to feel guilty of not evaluating “help” by changing himself, which is overcrowded.
Next time you heard the “I was just trying to help,” he said if the help asked, or if it was unnoticed.
True assistance is respectful and thoughtful of the boundaries.
5) “I hate to be someone to tell you that, but …”
This one is near home. I’ve heard it quite a few times and I admit that I used me too.
“I hate to be someone who tells you it, but …” The speaker is reluctant to treat some awkward truth for your own good.
But that’s what I learned. It is often a cover for the exchange of negative or offensive information, which is not necessary to share first.
Using this phrase, I realized I was trying to paint me as a “good boy” all low stroke. At the end of the end, the people were not fair.
When you hear. “I hate to be one to tell you it, but …” For a moment. It can be as many altruistic as it seems.
6) “Don’t take this wrong way, but …”
Here is a phrase that is more wolf in sheep’s clothing.
“Don’t take this in the wrong way, but …” It seems like a prelude to a remarkable sensitive statement. Surprisingly, it is often used prior to comment that will probably be “wrong way”.
The speaker is trying effectively to control your reaction, before even conducting the opportunity to develop what they say.
When you hear. “Don’t take this wrong way, but …” Close yourself. Are you going to walk in the manipulation area?
7) “Just by saying …”
This one is classic. “Just by saying …” seems harmless, almost playing, isn’t it? Is wrong
The phrase “just by saying” often is often resolved at the end of the announcement that is critical or contradictory.
The speaker is far from the influence of their words, looking like they simply watch them and not criticism.
But don’t be deceived. This phrase is a manipulative tactic without taking responsibility for it.
Next time, listen to “just saying …” Remember that there are usually more words in it.
8) “Trust me.”
“Trust me …” Perhaps it is the most effective of all these phrases. It’s just that it is convincing, and it is designed to allow you to allow your guard.
When someone says, “Trust me …” they ask for faith in you, often when they are aware that their actions or words cannot guarantee that.
It is a manipulative shortcut to get your trust without earning it.
Always remember that trust is not required, it earns.
Final Thoughts:
When we sail through this labyrinth and through emotions, it is very important to remember that language is a powerful tool. It can build bridges, but it can also build walls.
These seemingly politely politely polite expressions may seem harmless, but now you know that they can also be a sign of manipulation.
Don’t let these phrases fool you. Instead, use this newborn knowledge as your shield, your guide. Question: Analyze and understand the effects of words.
Remember that communication is not only about what is said. This also applies to what it is not said.
After all, we are all together. The manipulation of the language is not about the promotion of distrust, but rather progress, more transparent interactions.
So next time someone says “Trust me …”, take a break. To reflect. And remember. Trust is not required, it earns.