If someone makes you compliment, you assume they are kind. If someone offers to help you think they really care.
But sometimes everything is not quite clear. Some people seem to support support but leave you when you communicate with them. They act like they have your best interests in the heart but somehow you always walk emotionally exhausted.
The complex part. They often pretend to be so good how you don’t even know what’s going on until it’s too late.
If you have ever spent time with someone unexplainedly dried, you can deal with emotional drain, which is disguised as a concern. Here are eight signs to watch.
1) They always talk about themselves
At first they look like great listeners. They sleep, ask questions, and they act as they think about what you need to say.
But in some way, conversation always walks around them. No matter what you go, they find the center a way of their problems, their experience, their own emotions.
You can shed your heart and suddenly comfort them. Or worse, they cover your struggle, looking older.
In time, this dynamics becomes exhaustive. Instead of listening and supporting, you have been dried emotionally, because after all, it’s never about you.
2) They feel guilty to set boundaries
I had a friend who always needed something to do something, with advice, emotional support to cry on shoulder. At first I was happy to be for them. That’s what friends do, isn’t it?
But over time, I started to feel drained. Each conversation was about their problems, and if I ever tried to take a place for myself, they act injuries. “I think I won’t bother you anymore,” they would say sighing, feeling me for a bad guy.
It took me some time to realize that real friends respect the borders. If someone feels guilty to take care of yourself, they really don’t support you. They are just sure that their needs always come forward.
3) their “support” comes with hidden expectations
They say they are always there for you, but somehow, their goodness is never free. Each use, every action of “support” has an unspoken price tag.
Maybe they remind you, all the time they have done for you. Or maybe they expect you to throw everything for them because they have helped you once. In any case, their generosity does not really mean to give. It’s about control.
Studies have shown that people who use guilty as a tool tend to have manipulative tendencies, even if they do not realize them. So if someone makes you feel that you are owed to just accept their help, they are chances, their care is not as selfless.
4) They are constantly being victimized
No matter what happens, it’s never their fault. They always have reason, excuse or someone else to blame for their problems. And if you ever try to be held accountable. Suddenly you hurt them.
They use their struggle as a shield – something to justify their actions while you feel guilty even to interrogate them. In time, this dynamic is wearing you.
You find you walking on the egg, fearing that what you say may “hurt” them or make you unconditionally unconditionally.
But here is the truth. Everyone encounters challenges, but not everyone uses justification to others.
If someone refuses to take responsibility for their actions, at the same time expect inexhaustible support from you, it’s a one-way relationship, and it values you more.
5) They export your energy without giving back anything
I didn’t notice that at first. I just knew I felt exhausted after each conversation with them, I drove an emotional marathon without moving inches.
They unloaded their problems on me, they have a valve for hours and expect that I have their own personal therapist. But when I needed support. Suddenly they were too busy, too tired or just in listening to the mood.
That’s where I was hit. This was not a friendship. It was a one-way deal. I gave and give, and they took them without a second thought.
If someone always expects to keep a place for them but never do the same for you, they aren’t really there. They just use you as an emotional dump.
6) They act too nice, but it feels
You will think that drying emotionally will be obviously negative, but sometimes they are the best person in the room. They shake you with compliments, keep checking on you and always supporting.
But something doesn’t feel right. Their kindness is forced to feel like they keep an account or very hard to prove that they care. And when you really need them. Their warmth suddenly disappears, replaced by indifference or subtle fault.
Real care should not be carried out. If someone’s kindness is more like a commitment or a tool that is a tool to keep you so sincere as it seems.
7) They thrive on drama
In some way, something always goes to their lives. If it is not falling with a friend, it is a crisis.
If this is not a personal drama, it is a problem with a stranger that just happened to attract them.
You feel bad for them at first. You want to help, listen to advice.
But over time, you realize that chaos never stops because they don’t want. They feed attention, sympathy, the emotional intensity of all this.
And you are just for a walk, you are constantly pulled into their storms until you dry up to focus on your own life.
8) You feel worse after spending time with them
The biggest sign is not that they do. That’s how you feel after they’re around.
Perhaps you feel exhausted, guilty or emotionally dried. Perhaps your mood gives rise without a clear reason, and after the end of the conversation you have a negativity.
Or maybe start to doubt yourself, asking if you are “too sensitive” or are you “not so much support”?
But deep down, you know the truth. Healthy relationship. It is a friendship, partnership, or anything else, you should not feel worse than before.
If someone is consistently leaking your energy while pretending to be all you need.
People in your life have to rise you, don’t send you
The people we encircum ourselves have a huge impact on our energy, our thinking, and even our feelings. When someone constantly dries you, simultaneously pretending to be interested. It’s more than just disappointing. It is a weight that you bear, often without it.
The real connection does not leave you to feel exhausted or guilty. It doesn’t come with hidden expectations or one-sided emotional work.
Healthy relationships are those who give as much as they give where support flows both in roads and there when they feel lighter after spending time together.
If someone has consistently left you to feel drained, it’s good to get back. Defending your energy is not selfish. It is necessary.