If you’re the parent of an adult child, you may have noticed some shifts in your relationship.It’s a complicated dance of intimacy and independence that can leave you feeling a little confused.
One moment you may see signs of affection and the next a sudden need for distance.It can be hard not to take it personally.
But rest assured, this push and pull is often a normal part of growing up.
In fact, it may simply indicate that your child is maturing and trying to navigate his or her own path in life.
Psychology provides some insight into this behavior, so let’s delve into these signs to help you understand it better.
1) They set boundaries
If your adult child is setting clear boundaries, it can seem a little uncomfortable at first, especially if you’re used to having a certain level of involvement in their life.
They may insist on making decisions on their own, from small things like what to make for dinner to bigger life choices like career moves or relationships.
They may also request more privacy or prefer to spend time alone.
It’s important not to take it personally at these times. This is often a sign that your child is growing up and trying to establish his independence.
Setting boundaries is a healthy part of adult relationships, including those between parents and their grown children.
If your adult child is drawing lines in the sand, it doesn’t mean they love you any less, it’s just their way of expressing their need for space.
2) They are less likely to take your advice
When your adult child starts making decisions without seeking your advice like they used to, it can feel like a shock.
The truth is that this is a positive sign of their development and maturity.It means that they are confident enough to solve problems and make their own decisions.
They use the skills and values you have instilled in them over the years.
This doesn’t mean they love you less or don’t respect your opinion, but rather that they are taking steps towards independence and taking responsibility for their actions.
Part of loving someone is trusting them to make their own decisions.
While it may seem strange at first, seeing your child rely less on your advice can be a sign of a good job you’ve done in raising him.
3) They communicate less
You may notice that your adult child is not leaving as often as they used to. Phone calls, texts, or visits may be less frequent, and this may cause feelings of anxiety or rejection.
However, decreased communication is not necessarily a bad sign.As children get older, the frequency of communication with their parents often decreases.
This is a normal part of their journey to independence and self-sufficiency.
This doesn’t mean your child doesn’t want to talk to you or share their life with you. Rather, it’s a sign that they’re getting comfortable managing their own affairs.
They know you’re there if they need you, but they’re also learning to navigate the world on their own terms.
When your adult child becomes less outgoing, it may just be a sign that he is taking steps toward becoming his own person.
4) They express anxiety with too much love
As your child gets older, he may begin to feel uncomfortable with the overt expressions of affection he once accepted as a child.
Hugs, kisses, or making love may not be as well received as they used to be.
This change can feel a little offensive. after all, you are just expressing your love for them. But it is very important to remember that this is not a rejection of your love or an indication that they love you less.
Their comfort level changes and this is a normal part of growing up.
They develop their own ways of expressing and receiving love. It’s about respecting their personal space and understanding their comfort zones.
Don’t worry, your bond with your baby is still strong. It just develops in new ways that reflect their growth into adulthood.
5) They are more secretive about their personal lives
Do you remember the days when your child shared every detail of their day with you?
The times they excitedly told you about their last high school crush or drama with their friends.
As adults, they may become more secretive about these aspects of their lives.They may not share as much about their relationships, work problems, or personal challenges.
This newfound privacy isn’t a sign of rejection or a lack of love, but instead, it’s a sign that your child is developing their own individuality and sense of personal privacy.
While it’s hard to no longer know all the details of their lives, it’s important to remember that this is a normal part of adulthood.
It is a sign that they are learning to handle their own problems and navigate life’s ups and downs on their own.
Even if your adult child becomes more secretive, know that it’s not about pushing you away.
It’s about them coming into their own as adults and learning to manage life on their own terms.
6) They prefer to spend holidays or special events with friends
You’ve always had a tradition of spending every holiday together as a family, from Christmas to birthdays, but lately, your grown child seems to prefer celebrating these special occasions with friends.
For example, a mother who used to cook her child’s favorite treats for every birthday, only to find that her grown child now prefers to go out with friends on these special days.
It may feel like rejection, but it’s not.
Usually this change is only about creating new traditions and experiences.
It’s not a reflection of their love for you or your family tradition, but rather a sign of them branching out and going their own way.
Even though they are creating new traditions, the memories and love they have for the family traditions you created will always hold a special place in their hearts.
7) They push back on unsolicited advice
As a parent, it’s natural to want to guide your child, even when they’re all grown up.
It may seem like they’re rejecting your wisdom, but it’s more complicated than that.
Your adult child is learning to trust their own judgment and make their own decisions.
They find out what works for them and what doesn’t, and sometimes that means making mistakes and learning from them.
It can be hard to watch from the sidelines, especially when you think you know a better way, but part of their growth involves exploring different paths and finding their own way in the world.
The next time they push back on your advice, remember that it’s not about you or your wisdom. It’s about them finding their footing in this world as an independent adult.
8) They express gratitude in different ways
As an adult, your child can express his appreciation and love for you in ways you are used to.
Instead of the handmade cards or hugs they gave as children, they can show their gratitude through thoughtful actions or words of affirmation.
Imagine a father who used to get colorful pictures from his little girl as a sign of love.Now, as an adult, he expresses his love by regularly checking in on her or helping her with technology.
This change in expressing gratitude is not a sign of diminished love, but an evolution of their love language as they mature.
Love and gratitude can be expressed in countless ways. Even if it’s different from the way they used to show it, the love for your adult child remains.
It’s their own way of saying “I love you” in adult language.
Conclusion
Parenting an adult child is a journey of constant learning and adaptation. It can be a confusing, emotional, yet exhilarating experience.
This article was intended to shed light on the signs that your adult child loves you but also needs their space.
Remember that every relationship is unique and these signs can manifest differently for everyone.
Never forget that their path to independence is a reflection of the values and strength you have instilled in them. It is a testament to their growth and your guidance.
In this dance of growing up, it’s important to respect their space, encourage their independence, and value the developing relationship you share.
After all, love is not always firmly held. sometimes that means knowing when to let go.
Here’s to navigating this beautiful journey with grace and understanding.