It’s no secret that there are difficult conversations, well, hard.
They often include awkward topics, high stakes and intense emotions.
And let’s face it, some of us are doing better than others.
Psychology tells us that there are clear signs that reveal if you are not an easy person to talk to these moments.
Recognition of these signs can be the first step in improving your communication skills.
Let’s dive and see if any sound is familiar.
1) You are quick to interrupt
We’ve all been there. We try to get a point, and the person we talk to keeps us cut. It’s not just annoying. It’s sincere disrespectful.
According to psychology, the rapid interrupt is one of the signs you don’t have an easy person with.
It shows that you are more interested in getting your own point of view than to understand what the other person said.
Active listening is an important skill when dealing with tough conversations. It shows respect, compassion and gap in other perspectives.
So if you interrupt yourself frequently, it may be time to take a step back and make better skills. Remember, the conversation is a two-way street.
2) You are too defensive
We all like to think that we are open minded and receptive for feedback, but let’s be real, it’s hard to hear criticism.
I remember a time when a close friend pointed out that I often make decisives impulsive.
My immediate response must jump to my own defense, listing all the time my quick decisions led to successful results.
But later when I had time to reflect, I realized that my friend had a point. My defense not only hindered me to hear him, but also taking a behavior that I could work on improvement.
The psychology tells us that being extremely defensive during difficult conversations is a sign that we are not easy to speak. It shows the desire to consider other prospects and can completely close the conversation.
When someone offers you some constructive criticism, try to resist the urge to protect your immediate protection. Instead, take a moment in mind what they are saying. Can you just learn something valuable about you?
3) You avoid eye contact
The eye contact is not only about the forms. It is a powerful form of non-verbal communication.
In fact, studies have shown that maintenance of eye contact can significantly increase our understanding and maintenance.
If you are the kind of who finds it difficult to meet someone’s eyes, it can be accepted as a sign that you are not fully invested in the discussion.
Avoiding eye contact can come out as short-term or uninteresting, making conversation one-way and generally more efficient.
Even if it doesn’t come to you naturally, try to keep the healthy number of eye contact. This simple act can help have a feeling of communication and mutual respect, making the discussion more efficiently and less tense.
4) You often change the subject
Difficult conversations, according to nature, are inconvenient. Naturally, you want to leave the topics that cause discomfort or conflict. However, in these discussions, changing the topic allows the topic to the lack of readiness to resist the problem.
If you are often frequenting out of the topic, it may disappoint for the other person involved. They may feel that their concerns are not taken seriously, or that you avoid the main problem.
Difficult conversations are necessary for growth and understanding. Staying around the centralized topic, even when it is difficult, it is very important for effective communication.
5) You are struggling to express compassion
Empathy – The ability to understand and distribute someone else’s feelings is the main aspect of human communication. This is what helps us to relate to each other in a deeper level, particularly during difficult conversations.
If you are fighting compassion, it can make these harsh discussions more difficult. The other person may feel neglected or dismissed, resulting in further conflict or misunderstanding.
With my experience, the best way to cultivate compassion has worked in the shoes of the other person to be active and try. It’s not always easy, but it’s worth it. When we respond to compassion, we simply do not recognize the feelings of the other person. We authenticate them.
6) You tend to blame others
No one likes to be guilty, especially when it comes to sticky situations or conflicts. It is a natural instinct that wants to protect ourselves. However, being quick to accuse can often hinder effective conversation.
I remember a time when I was led by a project that did not go as planned. My first reaction was to point out where the team members were wrong. But on the reflection I realized that there were things I could do differently.
By accusing others can create a defensive environment and prevent us from learning our mistakes. It is necessary to take back, take responsibility, where it is conditioned, and look for ways to improve.
7) Do you respond to hostility to different opinions
Any conversation, especially difficult, is inevitable that different opinions arise. That’s how we deal with these differences that can do or break the discussion.
If you are inclined to respond to hostility when someone disagrees with you, it is a sign that you can be an easy person to have difficult conversations. Such a response can close open communication and prevent any formula.
It is important to remember that it is good to disagree. In fact, different views can often lead to better solutions and deep understanding.
Ask questions to better understand their prospect and you may find that there is a more common ground than you think from the beginning.
8) Do you use an aggressive body language
Body language speaks volumes often more than words. The aggressive body of the body – crossing your hands, rolling your eyes from the person you are talking to, can send a clear message that you are not open what the other person says.
This non-verbal behavior can directly protect the other person and complicate the conversation more.
The main thing is pleasing to your body language. Try to maintain open and quiet posture, confirm the appropriate eye contact and use gestures that show that you are actively engaged in conversation.
After all, how do you say something can be as important as what you say? With conscious efforts you can use your body language to create a more positive and efficient environment for complex conversations.
Final thoughts. Everything is about growth
The complications of human communication are deeply intertwined with our personal personalities, experience, and yes, even with our brain wires.
Psychologists often point to the concept, which is known as emotional intelligence, the opportunity to understand, use and manage in positive ways. This plays a decisive role in how we sail difficult conversations.
If you recognize any of these signs to yourself, don’t be discouraged. Awareness is the first step to grow and improve.
Whether he learns to listen more actively, expressing more easier to compassion, or thinking about our body language. These are all skills that can practice and patience.
After all, it is not just about making these discussions less terrible. It is about to grow it as individuals, improving our relationships and eventually more performance leaders.
Remember, it’s not about being perfect. That’s about that today be better than we were yesterday.