If a narcissist yells at you, it’s not out of anger. If they put you down, it’s not out of sadness.
Welcome to the twisted world of narcissistic communication.
This complex thought can be difficult to understand, but certain patterns emerge.
Let’s dive right in!
1) “You’re overreacting”
Have you ever heard this one before?
It’s a classic move in the narcissist’s playbook. When they say you’re overreacting, what they’re really doing is dismissing your feelings.
It’s a quick and effortless way for them to downplay your feelings and make them seem insignificant. “You shouldn’t feel this way,” or “your feelings are invalid.”
And it is related to narcissists. they don’t care about your feelings or anyone else for that matter.
For them, it’s all about control and manipulation.
This phrase is designed to make you second guess yourself, to make you feel small and unimportant.
But remember that your feelings are valid, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
2) “I’m the only one who really understands you”
I still remember when my ex told me that.
It was during one of our countless arguments where he always found a way to turn things around and show how he was the only person who really understood me.
At first it seemed flattering. It was like he was my safe haven, someone I could count on in all this chaos.
But over time I realized what he was doing.
He tried to isolate me, to make me feel like I couldn’t trust my friends or family, that they didn’t “accept” me like he did. It was a tactic to make me feel small and dependent on him, to feed his ego and control me.
This is a manipulative phrase designed to keep you in their clutches.
Always remember that there are many people who understand and love you just the way you are.Don’t let a narcissist convince you otherwise.
3) “You’re just jealous”
Throwing this phrase out is a narcissist’s way of turning the tables on you.
They will use it when they feel threatened or want to avoid taking responsibility for their actions.
Psychologists call this “projection.” It’s a defense mechanism where they project their own negative feelings onto you.
Instead of admitting they are jealous or insecure, they will accuse you of being jealous.
It’s a really smart tactic. It distracts from their flaws and puts you on the defensive.
But don’t let that fool you, your feelings are not a reflection of their insecurities.
4) “You are too sensitive”
Calling you “too sensitive” is one of narcissists’ favorite ways to undermine you.
They use this as an excuse to belittle your feelings and justify their harsh words.
It’s a sneaky move.By labeling you “oversensitive,” they shift the blame from their hurtful behavior onto your reaction.
It’s their way of saying. “It’s not my fault you got hurt, it’s your fault for being too sensitive.”
The truth is, there is no such thing as being “too sensitive.” Your feelings are yours, and no one has the right to ignore them.
It’s not about being “too sensitive”, it’s about them being “too disrespectful”.
5) “I was just kidding”
I’ve heard this one many times. It’s a staple of narcissists when they say something cruel or hurtful.
They will hide behind the veil of humor, pretending that you can’t take a joke.
I remember when my ex would constantly belittle my accomplishments, only to make a “joke” when I confronted him.
It was his way of diminishing my achievements and making me feel small.
It’s important to remember that jokes are meant to be funny, not offensive.
If someone’s “jokes” consistently make you feel bad, it’s not about your sense of humor, it’s about a lack of respect.
6) “You should be grateful”
At first glance, this expression seems harmless, even positive. After all, gratitude is a good thing, right?
But when a narcissist says it, it’s a whole different ball game.
They use it to make you feel like you owe them something, like their abusive behavior is something you should be thankful for.
It is their way of saying. “You’re lucky to have me.”
They imply that no one will put up with you, and that’s simply not true.
Remember, you deserve respect and kindness, don’t let a narcissist convince you otherwise.
7) “It’s all in your head”
This is another common phrase narcissists use to dismiss your feelings.
They are essentially saying that your perception of reality is false and that their version of events is the only one that matters.
They use this phrase to make you question your sanity, to make you feel like you’re the one with the problem, not them.
It is a form of gaslighting, a manipulative tactic used to gain power and control.
Remember, trust your instincts. If something is off, it probably is. Don’t let the narcissist manipulate your reality.
8) “You’re nothing without me”
This is perhaps the most damaging statement a narcissist can throw at you.
It is designed to make you feel worthless and dependent on them so that you believe you cannot survive without them.
But here is the truth. You are enough. You are strong, capable and worthy of respect and love.
Don’t let a narcissist convince you otherwise.
Remember your value
If you’ve read this far, you’ve already taken a huge step toward understanding the tactics narcissists use to belittle and control.
It’s not about you being overly sensitive, overreacting, or not getting the “joke.” It’s about their lack of respect for your feelings and your worth.
Narcissists derive their sense of superiority from making others feel inferior.
But it doesn’t define your worth. Your worth isn’t determined by what the narcissist thinks of you.
It’s important to understand that you are enough just the way you are and you don’t need anyone else to confirm that for you.
The next time a narcissist tries to minimize you or make you feel small, remember: You are strong. You are capable.
And above all, you deserve respect and kindness.
Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.