When I was in college, I had a classmate who seemed the world’s longest man. He would always meet me with a bright smile, asked about my day and insist that we learn together. At first I was excited to find someone so supportive.
In time, I noticed something weird. He would have taught plans in the last second, talk to our mutual friends’ backs and questioned to work when I asked about his own life. It felt worried, but I brushed warning signs because I wanted to believe in the best of him.
In the end, it turned out that he used me for posts and network opportunities.
That experience taught me a valuable lesson about paying attention to delicate signals. Sometimes people who look warm and charming can wear red flags, we don’t immediately see. Here are seven delicate behaviors I learned to pay attention.
1. They prefer but rarely delivers
Little things are more frustrating than someone who performs great obligations but always seems to “forget” or back down to the last minute.
They can promise a key contact in the introduction, they say they will help you solve a difficult project or even claim to help you there but doesn’t mean anything.
What makes it so complicated that they are often convincing? Their promises are not always the rough lies. Sometimes they are just too optimistic statements that never come.
As a coach coach in my first days, I had a partner that constantly causing ideas about the seminars’ cooperation. He would talk about how we could “change the industry together” but then disappeared when it was time to do the real work.
Repeated overpower, but underperformance can be a thread that someone’s friendship is superficial. Trust is built through consistent consistency, not empty words. Pay attention to the example, not the pitch.
2: They are gossiping, but they never open their
I have always believed in the power to share personal stories, both good and messy, real connections. But when I see someone who loves to take away other people’s lives, but it doesn’t offer anything about them, I get that restless meaning that something goes out.
It is not that everyone has to share their most vulnerable secrets in one day. It’s more to mean, the exchange is mutual.
If they compress the details of your relationship status, finance or family problems, but they remain vague their own experience, it can show that they collect information without any intention of real exchange.
According to one article, I read about psychology today, gossip can serve as a tool of social communication, but it also becomes a weapon for people who have no compassion. If you feel that someone’s interest in your life has something to have something to talk to your back, it is wise to pass.
3: Their body language does not match their words
The huge part of the communication takes place under the tone of facing facial, posture and sound.
Even if someone’s word sounds good, watch inconsistencies for their none. They can give you a compliment, “Wow, you have done a wonderful job on that performance.” Still their eyes are thrown around or they don’t keep the natural eye contact.
I first took it in my time as a competitive athlete where reading the body language was almost as important as reading the assessment. I would meet the people who offer polite congratulations, but wore a strong posture and uninteresting expressions.
Eventually, I learned to trust my instincts. Real people tend to show what they say and about how they are treated with their facial expressions, gestures and tones.
So if you feel your boyfriend or partner’s warmth is forced, or that their smile doesn’t get enough to their eyes, pay close attention. Delicate discomfort often reveals greater truths.
4. They distract the accountability
One of the best signals someone can’t count on to take responsibility is their inability to accept. They can quickly accuse external circumstances, other people or “bad time” for any mistakes or failures of their life.
Have you ever heard that someone says such a thing? It’s a classic deviation tactic.
It may seem small, but it adds. I once had a roommate who would consistently exercise the share of its departments. When I raised, he would say. “Well, you never remembered me.” It was as if I was his personal alarm clock. He was quite friendly to chat around coffee, but he never sinned in serious matters.
Real confidence requires mutual respect and make mistakes. If someone’s pattern is pointing to fingers every time it’s a sign that they can not be there when it really counts.
5. They hold in a relationship
Have you ever experienced that someone mentally shared all the favor or kind gesture they did for you? It’s the delicate but awkward feeling that if they give you a five dollar loan, instead something will wait for something, you may not have time but willingness.
When Brene Brown is often emphasized on vulnerability, healthy relationships flourish when people give back investment return. When someone keeps holding a runner. “I did it, so now you owe it to me,” it disrupts the real warmth.
In my Own Friendships, I’ve Noticed That The People I Trust Most Are Those Who HELP Because They Expect Me To Repay Them in a Specific Way. If you think someone is doing a nice action but quietly accumulates “credit” to use you, they may not have your best interests.
6: They gently blame others
This is a little different from the deviation, as it includes a more active strategy to another person as a more active strategy to draw a problem.
It often goes hands with gossip, but it can be more insidious. They can say such things.
My friend has faced this workplace. He had a colleague who would start sentences, – Well, the governing team thinks … “But when he had double-checked, the leadership never said.
If someone regularly frame feedback or criticism involves others.
This guilty game underestimates confidence, as it hides the real source of theft behind the contest group.
7. They show inconsistent heat or charm
People who want to manipulate often charm. They can make you compliments with compliments or small gifts to you, then suddenly frosts if you don’t give what they want. This Hot and Cold Behavior can leave you confused because you are never sure which version you will face.
Dr. Endre Huberman HUBERMAN LAB PODCAST: It is recommended that our nervous system gather with consistent patterns of behavior to determine security. When someone’s behavior varies at extremely friendly and strange away, our internal signal calls begin to call, even if we can’t say why we can’t.
I remember a partner who smiled on Monday, praising everyone’s ideas, and then on Wednesday, he ignored my emails and annoyed on any issue.
These unpredictable shifts of the Prime Minister left me to rest and feel careful. Valid, reliable people do not keep you. They retain a relatively consistent form over time.
Conclusion
Regardless of whether in friendship, professional cooperation or romantic relations, we rely on trust as a basis for honest and secure connections.
This does not mean that everyone needs to be perfectly transparent or free from imperfections, we are all human, but it can protect you from emotional or even professional effects.
If someone’s words rarely match their actions, or if they distract your personal accountability and gossip to move on to real vulnerability, carefully walk.
I found that maintaining healthy boundaries and remained faithful to my instincts more than once. At the end of the day, trust is earned by consistent goodness, accountability and openness.
When delicate behavior does not match it, it is worth a closer look at how ready you are to share or rely on that individual. After all, your energy and peace of mind, save protection.