Longest time I thought it was easy, always say yesAvoiding conflict, making sure everyone liked me, it was a good thing.
That it made me good man.
But over time, I started doing something. The more he bent backwards to enjoy everyone as far as I deviated myselfA number
I was not kind. I was relevantI have not made people happy. I just made smaller, easier, easier to digest.
And the worst part. I didn’t even realize that it happened.
It took me for a long time (and some heavy lessons) to understand that being continually agreed was not a noble trait. It was a way to avoid discomfort.
So I learned I say no It is not selfish that disagreement does not mean shutdown, and that real growth comes as you are actually Don’t who do you think people want you to be?
1) The yes-person constantly
Compliance is an easy trap to fall.
It is the minimum path of resistance. The idea is always to say “yes”, to avoid the conflict, everyone can rely on, it seems ideal.
But in my case, this agreement turned me into a constant yes-man. I found that I agree with everything, often at the expense of my own needs and desires.
Being consent was a habit of default. And far away from promoting real relationship, I realized that it was my image that was not valid.
Instead, instead of seeing reliable and pleasant, I became someone who could not stand up for themselves.
My personal brand was suffering, not because I was not very good, but because I was not faithful to myself.
The effect was not only on my personal brand, but also on my personal growth. Always agreed with others, I was pressuring my own opinions and couldn’t dispute myself.
This realization woke up to call that something needs to be changed.
2) Supper debut
Friday evening after one job my friends planned pictures in the center of the city.
I was exhausted and just wanted to curl up my couch with a good book. But when I ask, I can join, my default “yes” slipped before even thinking.
So I was there, I sat down in a stunning restaurant, hardly to keep my eyes open. My friends laughed and talked around me, but I could think of how much I wanted home.
That’s when he hit me, I forgot to think about my pursuit of what I really want. I discredited my own happiness and well-being to avoid disappointing others.
This was not an example at once, but an example that repeated himself with different aspects of my life.
It became clear that it would not have been continuously agreed with my authenticity. It also affected my mental health and well-being.
3) Establishment of discredited decisions
A side effects of a permanent agreement, which I did not consider it before, his influence on decision-making skills.
Agreeing with others all the time, I meant that I rarely decide on my own judgment or preferences.
Studies show that autonomous decisions are the ability to make personal growth and self-confidence. It is a way to assert our personality and control our lives.
But always by agreeing with others, I inevitably allowed other people to take the driver’s place in my life.
It was not just about I was watching. It was about losing the opportunity to make and increase my decision making skills.
4) Losing my real self vision
How much I found me “yes” saying the things I didn’t want, the more I started to see who I was.
It may seem dramatic, but that’s right.
Constantly agreeing, I was accepting views, participating in actions and elections, which were not really mine. It’s as if I lived someone else’s life.
I began to question my own preferences and opinions. I was picking that because I wanted it, or because that’s what others expect from me.
It was sobering. In my efforts to keep everyone happy, I slowly lost the connection with my real self.
And it’s not a product that should be comfortable with.
5) Confession of confrontation
There was a moment that finally pushed me to face my agreement.
It included a close friend who planned to move abroad. He wanted to have a farewell party in my house, knowing that it was spacious and comfortable for all his friends.
I didn’t want to host the party. We were already swamped with work and my house of making my home for a great event was impressively. But, as always, I found myself on the verge of saying “yes”.
However, this time hit something inside me. I realized that I couldn’t continue to put others what my own needs wanted. So I took a deep breath and told him the truth.
His reaction surprised me. He was not upset or disappointed. Instead, he highly appreciated my honesty and quickly found another solution.
This case forced me to understand that saying “no” did not make me a bad man, but it’s true. It was the first step by getting rid of my trap.
6) Traveling to Reliance
It was one thing to decide to get rid of the habit of permanent coins. Actually did it another.
It required a mentality of movement and reliability.
The facility is about expressing your thoughts and feelings honestly without hurting others or ignoring your own rights. It’s about finding a balance between being too passive (always by agreeing) and be too aggressive (always insisting on your own way).
I started persuasure in small ways. Expressing my opinion during the team meetings, choosing the restaurant for dinner with friends when I was overloaded with tasks.
It was not easy, and at first I was standing with some resistance. But over time, people began to respect my choice. More importantly, I started respecting more. I felt more valid, I control my life more, and yes, happier.
7) Hugging authenticity
The most important lesson I know from this journey is the importance of being true to us.
Being agree doesn’t have to make us good or nice people. This often leads to discrediting our authenticity, which can lead to feeling lost and disconnected from ourselves.
Learning to say “no” by expressing our opinions, making decisions that coincide with our values. These are all ways that we can claim our personality.
It is not about pleasing others, but about finding a balance, where our needs and desires are just as many people around us.
By erecting the validity does not mean that we will not like or be appreciated. On the contrary, it helps us build a real relationship based on respect and mutual understanding.
And it’s a much more performance way to live.
Power of power
Self-disclosure and personal growth journey is deeply intertwined with authenticity.
Being happy with others can often lead us to a way we lose our real independence.
But the truth is that we are all right to raise our opinion, we insist on our needs and say “no” if necessary. We don’t like us less. Instead, it makes us more real and reliable.
The journey can be difficult, but the reward of a real life is exceeding the fight.
We are talking about assessing our own needs and wants to be as much as we appreciate others. It’s about finding our own voice in the conditions of noise.
Because after all, the authenticity of all is pleasant. It is faithful to us.