As long as I remember, I tied my career my career.
Promotions of the Leadership and Industry recognition simply does not matter. They were evidence that I was valuable. That I was on the right track. That I highlighted.
So when I lost their job, it felt how it fell into the ground under me. Without title, without a team rely on me, who are you?
At first, I caved to fix it. Updating my resume, reaching out contacts, pursuing the next opportunity, it seemed to my identity, because in my mind, he did it.
Another issue arose between the interviews and rejection e-mail. What if there is no success on the corporate ladder?
What if I was the size of my value wrong?
As I have redesigned success with my own conditions
At first, I resisted the idea that success could be different. I told myself I just needed another job, so I could feel me again.
But the more I sat down with the discomfort, the more I realized that the magnitude of my identity was built on external authentication. If I wanted to break that cycle, I had to transform what it means to me success.
I started myself a simple but awkward question. What do I really want? Not what is good looking at LinkedIn? Not what is impressing other people. But what really feels like it is done.
For the first time in the years, I allowed me to study without a tough career plan. I took over free projects I was interested in how my resume just climbs.
I prioritized the gathering of personal growth, writing and even hobbies, I have long overlooked.
Slowly, I started to see that my value was not related to the title of work title or performance. My ability to learn, adapt and create something meaningful was in my ability.
But many people don’t see that. There is a widely accepted belief that connects our value to our professional achievements.
Why do we equate self-esteem with career success?
For most of my life, I believed that professional success was the final proof of my value.
That’s what we teach us, isn’t it? Work hard, you climb the ladder, collect the achievements, and you will respect, you will be done and you will be happy. The society strengthens it all of this. We celebrate ads, not personal growth. We ask: “What are you doing?” Before “Who are you?”
So when I lost my job, it wasn’t just a financial hit, it seemed to have lost my identity. If I hadn’t been in my career, what should I show myself for myself?
But the more you stopped, the more I saw the defect in that thinking.
My skills, work and work ethic did not disappear just because I was not attached to the company. My value was not something outside. It was something I had taken with me regardless of my job title.
Leaving that old faith was not easy. Made me review everything about how I measured success.
From external authentication to internal sales
The biggest change I made forced my attention to move, confirmed to make sense to myself.
Instead of pursuing the next job, just to feel “worthy” I took time to think about what really happened to me. I asked myself: What kind of work do I care about me? What skills do I enjoy using? What effect do I want to have, regardless of the title or notice?
I stopped measuring success with advances and began to measure it with progress. Did I have learned something new today? Did I create something that was important to me? I spent time matched my values.
This shift did not take place overnight, but when it did, everything changed. I felt more to control my own path. I started making decisions based on what fits me not only what it looked good on paper.
And I ironically, when I stopped the mania how others saw me, the opportunities that actually equalized my strengths.
If you are fighting with your self-esteem related to your career, start resetting what it means to you. After all, the most valuable thing you can build is just a resume full of touches. It’s a life that feels on your own terms.
Taking control of your own path
Losing my work forced me to question so many things, but the most important realization was as follows. I lived with a description of success that was not even mine.
It came from everywhere-society, family and culture in the workplace. At some point, I internally, I internally, my value was connected with my career achievements. But just because something is widely accepted doesn’t mean it’s true.
When I finally took responsibility on how I measured my value, everything changed. I stopped waiting for external authentication and began to establish success so that I was actually aligned.
That kind of mindset simply does not help career challenges. It affects each part of life.
If you are stuck, don’t take a step and ask yourself. I chase something because I really want. Or because I have said that important. The more you learn to think about yourself, the more control you get on your own track.
Here are some basic lessons that helped me move forward.
- Take responsibility for how you set success. Don’t let the society do it for you.
- Accept where you feel stuck instead of forcing a blind episode.
- Ask outward expectations and focus on what actually makes to you.
- Move your mindset to seek authentication to make sense.
- Donate on your own and personal growth every day.
Truth is that no job title, promotion or turades will never force you to really realize if it is not equal to what you want. The sooner you will focus on the old definitions of success, the sooner you can start building a life that actually feels like you.