We all carry our past in our relationship, whether we realize it or not.
But for a woman who has been previously depressed, this can show in delicate ways. Small behaviors that hint on the walls he is built to protect himself.
He may not even be unaware of these patterns, but they form his favorite way, trust and connect with others.
If you recognize them, it does not judge or correct him, it is about understanding the word where he comes from.
Here are seven calms, but telling the behavior that reveals his wife, and what they say about his journey and trust.
1) He struggles to accept compliments
It seems a little thing, but watch how he reacts when someone gives him a real compliment.
Does he brush it? Laugh awkwardly. Pay attention elsewhere.
Praise for a deeply damaged woman in the past can feel uncomfortable, almost suspicious.
He may have been in a relationship where compliments have been compliments or where the good words followed the betrayal.
Instead of accepting them in value of their value, he reduces them or completely rejects them.
It is not that he does not appreciate the good words. It is a part of him who still struggles them for believing.
2) he apologizes even when he did not do anything wrong
Once I dated someone once who would say “Sorry” for the smallest things that don’t even apologize.
If I were a bad day, he apologized. If we decided where they should eat, and I chose a place he didn’t love, he apologized for not wanting to do the same.
I didn’t think much about it at first. But over time, I realized that it was not just a habit, it was a defensive mechanism.
He was in a relationship where he expressed his needs or opinions, resulted in conflict or rejection.
Somewhere on the way he learned that saying “Sorry” was safer than taking space.
A woman who is constantly apologized is not only politely.
3) he fluctuates before opening
Trust is not something he gives easily. Even in a safe, loving relationship, he could keep him back, measuring his words before any personal separation.
This is because he does not want to connect. That is, because before the vulnerability of the effects.
People whom he trusted could use his words against him, rejected his feelings or left when he finally allowed him.
Psychologists have found that emotional wounds can activate the same parts of the brain as physical pain.
Thus, the opening for him is not just about telling a story. Word is that the feelings that came with it. And it takes time.
4) he is overcoming small changes in your behavior
If you take a little longer for a message or looks quieter than usual, he notices.
Sometimes he takes over the worst.
It is not because he wants to create problems. That’s because he was left blind before.
He has learned that people do not always say that they can take that heat without warning.
Now his mind fills the covers trying to predict what can be wrong before it happens.
Loyalty goes a long way with someone like this.
Not because he is insecure, but since his past teaches him to prepare for frustration. Even when there is no reason.
5) he removes people when they need them most
When everything gets weight, he doesn’t always ask for help.
In fact, he can do the opposite pull, creating the distance, acting as he is good.
It’s not like he doesn’t want support.
That’s what he learned at some point that leaning on others could be dangerous.
Maybe the people he counted on, let him down. Maybe opening in the past only caused more pain.
Instead of taking a risk again, he persuades himself to be better doing business alone.
But deep down. He hopes that someone will notice.
One who does not leave when he tries to push them. Someone who will remind him that others do not allow himself.
6) he lowers his own feelings
If something hinders him, he can say: “It’s not a big deal” or “I’m probably just overheating.”
Even when he is clearly damaging, he minimizes it, sometimes for others, but especially himself.
This usually comes from the past where his feelings are not valid.
Maybe he was told that he was “too sensitive,” or that his emotions were burdened.
In time, he learned to suppress them rather than at risk as difficult or needy.
But feelings just don’t disappear.
They are building waiting for a safe place.
And until he is really safe, he will continue to form that they do not matter.
7) He loves deeply but afraid that it is not enough
When he cares, he cares for everything he has.
He gives, supports and loves to feel infinite.
But no matter how much he suggests, there is a calm fear that will not yet have someone to stay.
This fear does not come from lack of love. It comes from experience.
Times when he gave all his heart to watch only someone, it’s the same.
So now, even the happiest moments, its amazing part of how long it will last.
He doesn’t need big gestures or endless trust. He just needs to be consistently proof that love is not always to end with a heart breaker.
Treatment does not always look at the way you expect
Pain has a way to leave traces, forming someone’s way to move around the world, even in the ways they do not realize.
For someone who has been injured before, this can mean to see a danger where there is no one or maintaining one.
But treatment is not always loud or obvious.
Sometimes it seems to learn to take a compliment without deviation.
“Thank you”, “Sorry” or allowing someone, even when each instinct goes out.
Sometimes treatment just has someone who understands. Someone who sees the pain of silent roads and offers to stay.