Some people just have natural resources to flow easily to flow into conversation. Others … not so much.
Our communication is to say a lot about us. Our trust, emotional intelligence and even how we run relationships.
And while no one gets 100% of the time, there are certain phrases that almost immediately announce poor social skills.
These are not just an awkward slip. They may seem uninformed, rejection, or even rude, without even even realizing it. If someone regularly uses these expressions, they may struggle with others in a meaningful way.
Do you want to make sure they are not from them? Here are 8 phrases to view any conversation.
1) “No offense, but …”
If someone says “no insults but …” you can almost guarantee that what the next one will be offensive.
This phrase is a classic sign of poor social awareness. It is often used as a weak attempt to alleviate a rough or critical statement, but in reality it does it, the opposite that knows that they should say somewhere.
People with strong social skills understand that tactics and honesty can be obtained. Instead of using this phrase as a shield, they find a way to express their thoughts with kindness and respect.
So if you caught yourself, “no insults but …” do a step. Probably there is a better way to express what you say or may not be told at all.
2) “I’m just honest”
I used to have a partner who would say: “I’m just honest” every time he was doing a tough or unnecessary comment.
At first, I thought he was just straight, but over time I realized that it would be more excuses to say what he wanted, given how it felt.
One day we were in a team meeting, and someone introduced an idea that they worked hard.
His answer. “This is a waste of time. I’m just honest. ” You can see frustration on our partner’s face, but instead of settling his approach, he acted as honesty he was free to be rude.
People with good social skills know that honesty should not be blunt or offensive. There is a difference between being truthful and insensitive.
If you find yourself often using this phrase, ask yourself. You are really honest or just use as an excuse.
3) “Relax”
Saying someone to “calm down” has almost never had the target effect. In fact, it usually does the opposite. It’s more frustrating people.
When someone is upset, their brain is already enhanced in an emotional state. Studies have shown that strong emotions can temporarily reduce activities at Prefrontal Cortex, the part of the brain responsible for rational thinking and decision-making.
It means when you tell someone to “rest” they are not in the best position to logically process. Instead, they will most likely feel released or invalid, make their emotions stronger.
People with good social skills understand that recognizing someone’s feelings is much more effective than trying to close them. A simple “I understand why you are upset” or “Let’s talk through this” can a long way to go into tension without worsening.
4) “It’s just a joke”
If you have to explain that something is “just a joke” may not have been a lot of fun.
This phrase is often used to distract responsibility after saying something offensive or inappropriate. Instead of accepting that their words can interfere with someone, a person changes sin on the listener, meaning that they are too sensitive or cannot joke.
But in a good time the joke should not be protected, and the humor should not come to others.
People with strong social skills know how to read the room. They understand when the joke is and when it can’t be and more important, they are ready to belong to it if they have passed a line.
If you appear that “it’s just a joke” can often be time to review your sense of humor.
5) “Whatever it is”
Few words have closed the conversation faster than rejecting “What?”
This phrase signals indifference, frustration or even passive aggression. It tells the other person that you are interested in engaging them or their perspective. Whether odds, discussion or even a casual conversation.
Instead of solving problems or meaningful investment, “What” will shorten things and leave the other person feeling wireless.
People with good social skills understand that communication is about communication, not to avoid. Even if you don’t fully agree with someone, responding with curiosity or understanding will always take you back than they turn off them.
If “whatever happens” your answer, ask yourself. Does this help the conversation or just end?
6) “You Always” / “You Never”
Few things feel worse than saying: “You always do it” or “You never do it.”
These phrases are not just unfair. They are also inaccurate. No one always or never doing something.
But when we use these gaps, we paint the other person around the corner, forcing them to feel defensive than understandable. Instead of solving a problem, the conversation turns the conversation correctly and wrong.
Healthy communication is about to express concerns without being attacking the character of the other person. “You never hear me,” try, “I don’t feel when it happens.”
A small circuit movement can make a big difference. It contradicts contradictions and is guilty of understanding.
7) “I’m not trying to be rude, but …”
This phrase may seem harmless, but it rarely leads to anything. More often than no, it’s a place for something bump, critical or unnecessary tough.
I used to think that this way contaminated the statement. That’s so long as I admitted I didn’t try to be rude, the other person would take my words less.
But I learned the hard way that it doesn’t work. Instead of making criticism easier, it just forced people’s blackberry for a negative thing. Worse, it made me sound like I knew that my words could hurt, but I used to tell them.
The truth is if you feel the need to add this refusal, it is worth reviewing how you are going to express what you say.
Goodness and honesty are the opposite. You can just be without being offensive. And sometimes, the best way to get your point is to say that in a way that makes the other person actually want to hear.
8) “It’s just that I am”
“It simply came to our notice then.
This phrase usually comes when someone is called out of negative behavior. Whether it’s too blunt away, it removes or hard to work. Instead of taking into account how their words and actions affect others, they use this line to close any possibility of change.
But the truth is that social skills are not set at properties. They are something we can all improve with effort and awareness.
People who communicate well understand that personal growth and strong relationships go.
Instead of limiting beliefs about themselves, they are open to feedback and realize that the change is not found to become a better way.
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Our communication will have a direct impact on how others perceive us and how we build a relationship.
Neurologists have found that conversations activate many areas of the brain, affecting emotions, trust and even decisions.
The words just sound. They form interactions, defines relationships and decide if we are connected or pushing with the people around us.
The phrases of our use can either open doors or quietly close them. The language can mean the difference between listening to someone or to make them feel the difference.
And at the heart of all this, social skills are not about saying something perfect every time. They will treat our words affect others and choose their intentions.