Be patient, many of us want to feel loved, rated and related to our children. But sometimes, without realizing it, we keep the habits that push them instead of bringing them closer.
The truth is that the relationship, especially with our children, is built on trust, respect and emotional security. And if we are not careful, some behavior can create a distance than to deepen our connection.
If you want to reinforce your contact with your children, because for years it may be time to leave a few things. Here are seven behaviors to say goodbye if you want to feel more popular and appreciated by your children.
1) It is always necessary to be right
Fewer things create distance in relationships faster than you have to always be right.
As parents, we have spent years to guide and teach our children. But because they are in adults, correcting them, or refusing to accept when we are wrong, they can feel their homeless and disrespectful.
No one enjoys feeling, as if their opinion does not matter, even our children are not. When we leave the need to win each argument or to prove a point, we create a place for real conversations and mutual respect.
Sometimes being loved is more important than being right.
2) Removing their feelings from work
I will never forget the day when my daughter said to me: “I don’t always need advice. I just need you to listen. “
It hit me hard because I realized how often I quickly brush his feelings with a quick solution or “will be good.” I thought I helped but in reality I felt unnoticed.
As parents, we have passed a lot, and it’s easy to think that we know best. But when we reject the emotions of our children. Is it stressed from work, relationships fight, or even small daily disappointments? We send their feelings.
If we want to stay close to our children, because they grow up, we have to force them to safely exchange us with us. It starts without a judgment listening and ratifying how they feel, even when we do not fully understand.
3) criticize more than estimate
The human brain is tense to focus more on negative experience than positive. It is called negative bias, and it means that criticism is inclined to stay longer than praise.
As parents, it is easy to slip in the habit to point out what our children could do better, how they manage their money, raise their children or lead their career. But if most of our interactions are focused on what they are wrong, they will start to connect us to negativity.
If you want your children to enjoy your surroundings make sure they feel valuable and appreciated. Simple “I am proud of you” or “I love how you behaved” can strengthen your connection much more than the constant corrections.
4) Preparing everything to yourself
We all want to share our experience, offer wisdom and relate to the struggle of our children. But if every conversation returns to our stories, achievements or problems, it can feel them homeless.
Have you ever opened someone, only for them to focus on themselves immediately? It’s disappointing, and over time it can force people to take.
Instead, always respond to “I’m also with me” or “Here’s what I’ve done”, try to ask more questions. Show real curiosity about their life without rushing or advising.
Sometimes the best way to feel popular is to feel really seen to others.
5) Keeping the mistakes of the past
There are little things more painful than feeling as far as you grew up, someone still sees you as a person.
No one wants to be defined by their worst moments, especially by their parents. Whether it was badly decided years ago, or disagreements that have never been fully resolved, bringing more and more mistakes.
If we want to have a strong relationship with our children, because they grow up, we must allow them to develop. The weakness of the old disappointments does not mean forgetting. That means choosing relationships during the past.
6) Expecting them will always be available
How much we would like to leave our children everything when we call or visit, they have their own life, responsibilities, and families.
It’s easy to feel pain when they don’t respond immediately or can not give time for the last minute plan.
But if we are guilty of them. Reminding them of how much we have done for them or to be disappointed, it only puts pressure on us, but only strengthening relations.
The best way to keep them is their time to respect and appreciate your shares. When they know that being with you is free from sin or obligation, they will want to be less.
7) Keeping love and heat
Love should never be conventional.
If your children feel that they need to act in a certain way, they meet certain expectations, or agree with you to get your warmth and kindness, they will eventually play.
No one wants to love love. They want to feel free without rejection or judgment. Simple “I love you” or a real manifestation of support, even when you disagree can mean everything.
Lower line. Connection is a choice
The power of any relationship is not built over the years. It is formed with daily choices.
Psychologists have long emphasized that it is not just about getting a favorite, but the love can prosper.
Small gestures, consistent respect and emotional security are all playing a role in keeping the bonds strong.
When we are at age, we share the connection with our children. It is powered. And often, it’s the things we leave as much as the things we have stored that they decide how close we stay.