Most of my life I was always rushing to the next thing.
You know the drill.
– Check the clock constantly
– Always plan ahead
– Never fully present
– Living in constant stress and anxiety.
The result: I was missing the real moments of my life.
I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder of Hack Spirit and a huge psychology enthusiast.
My lowest point came a few years ago.I was constantly busy but never really felt fulfilled or satisfied.
That’s when I realized. if I wanted to start truly living in the moment, I had to say goodbye to some of the behaviors that were holding me back.
In this article, I will share with you these 8 behaviors that were stealing my joy and presence.
By letting them go, I was able to transform my life. I hope they can do the same for you.
Let’s dive in!
1) over-planning
The first behavior I had to let go of was over-planning.
As a psychology enthusiast, I was well aware of the importance of having goals and plans.
I was so caught up in planning every minute detail of my life that I missed the beauty of the unplanned moments.
Over-planning made me rigid and anxious about the future.
It kept me from really enjoying my gift because I was always worrying about sticking to the plan, meeting deadlines, or thinking about what’s next.
I’ve come to realize that while it’s good to have plans, being too attached to them can rob us of our ability to live in the moment.
So I practiced flexibility.I made plans, but I also allowed myself to deviate from them.
I learned to embrace spontaneity and welcome unexpected events as opportunities for growth and learning.
If you’re an over-planner like I was, try loosening your grip a bit. Allow some room for spontaneity and see how it enriches your life.
2) Talking about the past
The second behavior I had to say goodbye to was talking about the past.
I was obsessed with my past mistakes, replaying them over and over in my mind.It was like I was stuck in a loop of regret and self-blame.
Not only did this steal my present joy, it also hindered my personal growth.
I remember a time when I missed an important deadline for a project at Hack Spirit.
I was so caught up in my failure that I couldn’t focus on the new projects that were piling up. It was a vicious cycle.
Then I came across this quote from the famous psychologist Carl Jung: It hit me hard.
I realized that dwelling on the past only binds us to it. We can’t change what happened, but we can decide how to move forward.
So I began to practice forgiveness towards myself. Whenever I relived a past mistake, I would consciously choose to shift my focus to the present.
If you’re someone who tends to dwell on the past, try this approach.
Accept that the past is gone and cannot be changed.
3) Constantly comparing myself to others
Another behavior I had to break was constantly comparing myself to others.
In this digital age where everyone’s life is on display, it’s easy to fall into the comparison trap.
I found myself doing this all the time, whether it was comparing Hack Spirit’s success to other sites or my personal achievements to my peers.
One day I noticed that a competitor’s site was getting more traffic than Hack Spirit.I spent the whole day feeling down and questioning my every decision.
It was exhausting and unproductive.
I realized that comparison is a losing game. There will always be someone who does “better” or “worse” in some aspect of life.The key is to focus on my own journey and growth.
Instead of comparing myself to others, I began to focus on my progress. I began to celebrate my small victories and learned to appreciate the journey, not just the destination.
If you are constantly comparing your life to others, try to change your focus.
Celebrate your own accomplishments, however small they may seem, and appreciate your personal journey.
4) Neglects self-care
Another behavior I had to let go of was neglecting self-care.
Between trying to manage Hack Spirit and keeping up with the demands of life, I was constantly on the move, ignoring my own needs.
I was always tired, tense and irritable. My productivity began to decline, and I realized that I was neglecting my own well-being.
Ironically, during my research for the article, I came across a study from the American Psychological Association that emphasized the importance of self-care.
Research has shown that regular self-care activities can reduce stress, improve mental health and increase productivity.
I started incorporating self-care into my daily routine. I had to consciously make time for it.
But the benefits were undeniable: I felt less stressed, more focused, and overall happier.
Remember to prioritize your own well-being.Incorporate regular self-care activities into your daily routine. it can be as simple as a 10-minute meditation or a short walk in the park.
Your mind and body will thank you for it.
5) Always looking for validation
The fifth behavior I had to kick to the curb was constantly seeking validation from others.
I found myself always looking for approval, whether it was for my work at Hack Spirit, my personal decisions, or even my appearance.
This constant need for validation was exhausting and left me feeling insecure.I was giving others the power to determine my worth.
I realized that the only approval I needed was from myself.
So I started practicing self-validation. Instead of looking for approval from others, I started trusting my own judgment and decisions.
If you have a habit of constantly looking for approval from others, remember this. Your worth is not determined by what others think of you.
Trust yourself, value your own judgment, and learn to validate yourself.
6) Resistance to change
The next behavior I had to let go of was resistance to change.
I’ve always been someone who likes routine and predictability.When things didn’t go as planned, or when unexpected changes happened, I got stressed and worried.
I remember when a key member of the Hack Spirit team decided to move on, I was in a panic, worried about how we would make it without them. It felt like a major setback.
It was then that I stumbled upon this quote from psychologist Carl Rogers: “The only educated person is the one who has learned how to learn and change.”
It struck a chord with me. I realized that change is not just inevitable. it is necessary for growth.
Instead of resisting it, I began to embrace change. I began to see it as an opportunity for learning and personal growth.
And guess what, we succeeded at Hack Spirit, and the experience taught me valuable lessons about adaptability and flexibility.
If you are someone who resists change, try to change your perspective. Accept change as an opportunity to grow and learn.
7) multifunctionality
The seventh behavior may be a surprise: multitasking.
For a long time, I thought multitasking was a skill.
But in reality it did more harm than good. I was constantly stressed, the quality of my work suffered, and I barely felt present.
I realized that when we multitask, we are not fully engaged in any of the tasks we are doing. Our attention is divided and we are not giving our best to any of our tasks.
So I decided to say goodbye to multitasking and adopted the practice of single-tasking.
I began to focus on one task, giving it my full attention before moving on to the next.
The result: Less stress, better quality work and a greater sense of presence.
If you’re a chronic multitasker, try this counterintuitive approach: single-task.
Pick one task and give it your full attention. You’ll be surprised how much more productive and present you’ll feel.
Conclusion
Saying goodbye to this behavior was not easy, but the rewards were immeasurable.
Change doesn’t happen overnight. Start small; pick a behavior you want to work on and take baby steps.Mark your progress, no matter how small.
The key to truly living in the present moment isn’t just saying goodbye to these behaviors; it’s about replacing them with healthier ones.
Practice mindfulness, be kind to yourself, embrace change, and most importantly, enjoy the journey.
Life is happening right here, right now. Don’t let this behavior steal your present.
Here is the last tip. Don’t wait for the perfect moment. Seize the moment and make it perfect. Start living in the moment today.