If you shout to your children, you know they will be upset. If you ignore they know they are ignored to feel. It’s 101 parents.
But the truth is that it is not always so simple. The reality is that building a strong, healthy and lasting relationship with your children, which is spreading to their adults, needs to dig deeper.
The weakness of certain behaviors can be a game-exchange.
I’m talking about 8 special behaviors that can stand on the way to you and your adult child.
So, if you are interested in developing a relationship with your children, which simply survives, it’s well jumping to their adults, stick around.
Because goodbye to these behaviors will help to smooth the valid connection that grows and develops with time.
1) Removing their feelings from work
We all know how it feels when our emotions are released. Is disappointing, isn’t it?
It is unfortunately, this is doing something imperceptibly from us.
We brush their feelings because we think they are very young to understand or because we are very busy with other things.
Here is the thing, however,. The emotions of our children are as real as ours. When they are happy, sad or angry, they feel as deep as we are.
And when we remove those feelings from work, we send them a message that their emotions are not valid or not important.
But imagine what happens when we do the opposite. When we accept their feelings and show that it is good to feel the way they do.
It’s powerful. It teaches them that their emotions are valid that it is good to express them, and the most important thing we are there, no matter what.
And guess what? This simple behavior of behavior can do wonders with your child for your relationship, even when they grow up.
They will know that they can always turn to you, and it’s a bond that lasts a lifetime.
2) not driven by what you preach
I remember a time when I said my daughter: “Honesty is the best policy,” and then, I lied to a minute because we couldn’t go to the park.
I said it was closed when the truth was, I was just very tired.
He found the next day when he heard from his friend that the garden was, in fact, open.
Everything said the appearance of his face.
That’s when I realized that our actions speak louder than our words.
When our actions do not correspond to what we preach, it confuses our children and questions them the values we are trying to inspire them.
We cannot expect our children to be honest if we are not honest.
We cannot expect them to be kind if they see us are unfriendly for others. In short, we must be the kind of person we want our children to become.
Let’s strive to equate our words to our actions. It’s hard, confident, but it’s worth it.
Because when your children see that you live them the values you teach them to respect you more as adult and feel comfortable around you.
3) Overproduction
As parents, it is natural for us that we want to protect our children from the hard realities of the world. But there is a thin line between protection and superpower.
When we constantly hover over our children, each decision is made to protect them from all possible damage to their ability to learn their own experience.
Over-protective parentity can actually lead to children’s anxiety and dependence because they grow up.
This is because they never have the opportunity to develop problems with solving skills or learn how to regulate adversity on your own.
Although it is important to ensure a safe environment for your children, it is equally important to give them the place to make mistakes and learn from them.
This will not only help them become more independent, but also to promote your and your adult children to healthier relations.
4) Lack of respect for boundaries
Respect goes both forms, even in parents. Just as we expect our children to respect our borders, we must respect them.
This can be difficult, especially when they grow up and start with greater privacy and independence. But keep in mind that borders are very important for healthy relationships.
By passing these boundaries, regardless of their personal belongings, it will not be stimulated or disrespecting their personal space, you can strain your relationship with them.
Let’s make an effort to understand and respect the limits of our children.
It will not only make them respected and evaluated, but will set a positive example of how to treat others.
And when they are adults, they will appreciate and respect you for it.
5) Never accept when you’re wrong
I will accept it first. Saying “I was wrong” can be what to do is what is the most difficult job. But it is one of the most important.
I learned from my own experience that accepting my mistakes is not a bad parent.
On the contrary, it shows my children that I am a man, like them, and that we are good to make mistakes as long as we learn from them.
When we refuse to accept our mistakes, we teach our children to be right more important than being honest.
But when we belong to our mistakes, we teach them about the importance of responsibility, humility and changes.
Let’s not be afraid to say “I was wrong.” When we are messing. It will not weaken us in the eyes of our children.
Instead, it will raise their respect and strengthen our relationship with them, even when they are adults.
6) Being their friend, not their parent
It may seem like a great idea to be your child’s best friend. After all, friends are fun, understand and easy to talk.
But here is the catch. While being friendly with your children is important, at the end of the day you are their parent, not their friend.
When we walk around the lines between friendship and parental, we risk our own authority and confuse our children about our role in their lives.
As a parent, our job is to provide guidance, set borders and sometimes perform tough decisions that our children could not like. And that’s good.
Because our main role is their adult adults.
You can still have a strong connection with your adult children without being a traditional sense to be their friend. Everything is about the right balance.
7) does not listen
Communication is not only about talking. It’s about to hear equally. And I mean really heard, not just listening to the words.
Very often, we quickly advise or share our own experiences without really understanding what our child has passed.
This can make them feel homeless and underestimated.
When we have time to really listen, we show our children their thoughts, feelings and opinions. This promotes a sense of self-worth and trust they will hold an adult.
Let’s make conscious effort to listen more than we’re talking about. You will be amazed at how much this simple act will strengthen your relationship with your children when they grow up.
8) Ignoring your own growth
The best way to turn your children into good rounded adults is to be yourself.
You are their first role model, their first teacher. If they are constantly learning, they develop and strive to be better, they will follow suit.
So put time in your personal growth.
Learn new skills, chase your passions, take care of your physical and mental health. Show them what it means to be a lifelong learner.
Because after all, the greatest gift you can give to your children is the example of a good life.
Wrapping it
I hope if you read this distance, you will understand that being a parent is enjoying your children as adults are about being perfect. It’s about being real, responsible and respectful.
Because at the end of the day your relationship with your adult children is not only about the time you spent together. We are talking about the values you have passed on, the respect you have shown and the example you set.
Remember that it’s never too late to make positive changes.
As the American author and the speaker Jim once said. “You can’t change your destination overnight, but you can change your direction.”
Think of this behavior for a moment. There are changes that you can do today, which will improve your relationship with your children in the future.
Because sometimes it is the smaller changes in our behavior that can make the most of our relationships.
And who knows? You can just find that goodbye to these behaviors not only improve your relationship with your children, but also helps you grow as a person.