I listen to you. And I know how difficult it is to feel it.
You spent so many years in your children’s life deeply involved, and now, because they enter more adults, they feel that they are slipping. You want to be close but you don’t want to overestimate or force them to feel sensible.
The good news. You can maintain a strong connection, it can just be adjusted.
Let’s move on more than five practical ways about your adult children, respecting their independence.
1) Start with open communication
Honest communication is any successful relationship bed and it does not differ with your adult children.
Because they grow and feel life on their own, their prospects, beliefs and attitudes can move. This can sometimes create a distance of distance. It may feel that you are deviating and the conversations that flows in time so easily are flowing or uncomfortable.
But I can say that the key to starting the bridge can be as simple as the conversation to initiate.
Start to express your desire to stay in a way that feels natural and non-depressing. Simple, Heartless Statement “I love our relationship, and I always want us to stay connected. What is the best way for us to keep in touch? “ Can open the door for honest discussion.
Also be willing to listen, really hear. Ask them about life, their interests and their struggle.
Show your relationship turns into a parent who instruct a child, not just a child.
2) be vulnerable
So here’s the one you might not have been waiting, but in my experiment it is one of the most powerful ways to deepen your relationship.
As a parent, I would like you often feel the need to be strong enough to protect your children from your own battles to protect your children.
Well, now when they are adults, they just don’t want a parent. They want a real, real connection. And that means letting you see you Fully, not as their mother or Dad, but as a person.
As Brené Brown crookedo Beautifully put meT: “Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, compassion and work.”
Share your own challenges, your fears, regrets and your dreams. Let your world leave as you hope to leave you with them. When they see you as someone who does not imagine everything, but still grows and learns, it creates an area where they feel the same.
3) Accept that you don’t always know the best
After that, wisdom comes, they say.
Well … sometimes.
You see that the world you know is your adult children navigating. Whether it is parental styles, a career choice, relationship or even the way they communicate, have changed much. What he worked for may not work for them, and that’s good.
Of course, that doesn’t mean your experience is not valuable. They are. But as rough as it sounds, you will always know well, and you have to remember it when talking to your adult children.
Instead, you have the right answer, try to ask. “What is for you?” or “how do you feel about it?” This changes the conversation to just be present, allowing them to share their prospect without being judged.
4) Support them without trying to fix everything
I know that your instinct will probably help, solve, walk when you see your child fights. After all, that’s what you’ve always done, isn’t it?
Well, now that they are adults, your role has changed. They don’t always need or want to fix things for them. Sometimes they just need you to listen, be a source of emotional support, not a solvent of the problem.
Instead of offering additional solutions, try to ask: “You want tips or just need to ventilate.” This simple question shows that you respect their independence while you allow them to know that you are there.
Of course, if they ask for help, offer your guidance in every way. Just think that your support does not turn into control. Trust that they are able to imagine things, even if it means making mistakes on the way. After all, we all grow so.
5) Be patient
I know. It is disappointing when your calls are unanswered, your texts get short answers, or you feel the only one you are the only one. Personally, it’s easy to pick up.
But here is the truth. Your adult children are likely to break a lot. Career, relationships, maybe even their own children. They are probably in the stage of life where they try to build something for themselves and sometimes means that they will not have so long or emotional bandwidth.
It doesn’t mean they don’t love you.
So be patient. Continue to achieve but without pressure or guilt. Instead of saying: “You don’t call me anymore.” try “I would love to catch when you have time.” This keeps the door open when it allows them to come to you when they can.
Relationships are melting and flowing, and staying close is a long game. Give them grace, trust the bond you have built and you know that they aren’t just busy when life is not slow.
Final Thoughts:
At the end of the day, being close to your adult children is not to keep the past. We are talking about the adoption of a new type of relations. The one that has been built on mutual respect, open communication and the understanding that does not always seem to the same thing as it did.
It’s good if the connection is different. It does not mean that it disappears.
Be patient, support and readily adapted, you create an area where your children want to stay on beyond the obligation, but because they really appreciate their lives.
Continue to show. Continue to love them. And trust that the bond you build will stand in the test of time.