Have you ever met someone who looks warm and friendly in society but becomes cold and cut when no one turns around? It is confusing and disappointing.
Such people are at first difficult to find, because they know how to manage their image. They smile, they are charm, they say all the right things, but behind closed doors, goes out.
Understanding the subtle behavior of these bilateral individuals can help you to protect yourself and see it through your trust and peace of mind.
Here are eight behaviors that such people tend to show.
1) they change depending on who is around
Have you ever noticed how some people seem to have two completely different individuals depending on who they are with?
For a moment, they all smile, compliments and warmth in front of others. Next, when no one turns around, their tone moves. They are released, praiseworthy or even openly cruel.
This kind of behavior is not accidental. It is calculated. People love this care deeply about how they are perceived by others, so they put a friendly action in society to keep a good picture. But when the audience went, it’s kindness.
Over time contrast is impossible to ignore. And when you see it what it is, you can’t see it.
2) They make subtle, cutting words when no one can hear
I once had a partner who was the sweetest person in team meetings. He will laugh at everyone’s jokes, give compliments like a sweets and always offers to help. Everyone loved him.
But when it was just the two, the tone changed. He said such things. “Wow, you are brave to talk to that meeting. I wouldn’t say that. ” Or, – That report was interesting. I mean if that’s the style you’re going for. “
At first I brushed it because I am too sensitive. But over time, I realized that it was not just a harmless comment. It was intentional. He never said such things when others surrounded it.
It was always private where there were no Witnesses to call him.
That’s the thing that is about such people. Their words are not always openly cruel, but they are designed to guess you second. Without anyone’s reprimand.
3) They use kindness as an instrument, not a feature
Real goodness is consistent. It does not change based on convenience or audience. But for people who are beautiful in society and privately mean, kindness is not reflecting who they are. It’s a tool they use their advantage.
Research has shown that many manipulative individuals, including narcissistic tendencies, can be very charming when it benefits.
They know how people like people have to say, how to say the right things, and how to create the illusion of heat. But that magic is not about communication. It’s about control.
That’s why their kindness often feels elective. They turn it on when there is something to win but there is no problem with taking it back when they think no one pays attention.
4) They reject your feelings but expect you to respect them
When they hurt you are not a big dealA number you To be too sensitive toA number you excessiveA number
But when the roles are reversed. Suddenly every little inconvenience is a personal attack.
If you say something I don’t like, they will make sure you know it. If you ever call them on their behavior, they will play the affected action, as if you are unfair.
This imbalance is intentional. Minimizing your feelings on their own strengthening, they continue to control the dynamics.
It allows them to say or do harmful things without consequence, while making sure you are always walking around them with an oviol.
5) They act like a perfect friend when something needs something
I used to know someone who would suddenly become an additional friendship when they needed them. They were checking, asked how I was doing, and went out to be better than they wanted them.
Then, just as the speed disappeared.
Such people do not create real relationships. They build transactions. Their kindness is not released freely. It comes with attached lines. If they are especially sweet, they are chances, that’s why there is something.
In time, I realized that the only way to see someone’s image is to pay attention to how they don’t work when you don’t need anything. That’s when shows shows.
6) They are too generous in the public
Think of life that someone who comes out of the way of being generous should be a really good person. After all, they always offer to pay for meals, giving extravagant gifts or preparing large, public gestures.
But sometimes this generosity is not good at all. It’s about the image. They want to be seen as thinking and self-sacrificing, so they put a show when others follow.
The real test.
How are they treating people when there is no audience? If their generosity disappears behind closed doors or worse if they use it to be owed to you, it has never really been. It was about control.
7) They make you question your own attempt
You bring something offensive and they said, and suddenly it happened. Or do you try to express their behavior and they insist? “I would never do it.
This kind of reply prevents you in time. You start to wonder if you misinterpreted things if you may be dramatic if you are actually the problem.
This is a classic manipulation tactic. By rewriting the reality, they make your own instincts more difficult for you. Simultaneously facilitating their work for them.
And the longer it goes, the harder it knows what’s going on.
8) They are never responsible
No matter what they do, it’s never their fault. If they hurt you, you misunderstood. If they are cold they are just stressed. If you finally call them out, you’re hard doing things.
Sorry if they happen at all, they are empty and strategically, mean to smooth out things than recognizing real damage. They do not reflect, they do not change, and certainly do not accept when they are wrong.
Because at the end of the day, their goal is not to build real ties. This is to maintain control of how they are perceived, regardless of the cost.
Why is such behaviors so harmful
If you have ever been dealt with someone like you know how exhaustive can be. The behavioral of permanent movements, delicate puts down, just as they will make your own experience. Everything is increasing.
And the worst part. It’s easy to start to wonder if you may be the problem. But you don’t.
Psychologists often talk about the consequences of “hidden aggression”, the form of manipulation, where someone disrupts others without being openly hostile.
Unlike explicit terrorism, it is difficult to call, as it is hidden under the charm and tender layers. But over time, it can seriously influence your trust and emotional well-being.
The good news. After recognizing this behavior, they lose their strength. You stop second by guessing yourself, stop doing excuses for them and start setting your peace.
Because at the end of the day, kindness is not about presentation. It’s about consistency. And the real goodness exists as nearly closed doors, as it does in the public.