You can learn a lot about a person just listening to the words they use.
Sometimes the deepest pain does not appear in obvious ways. No tears, non-dramatic outbursts. Instead, it is hiding in everyday conversations, slipping into phrases that they say without even realizing it.
The truth is that emotional pain often reveals more than they intend. And if you pay attention, you will start noticeing certain patterns in the way of speaking.
Here are eight phrases that people with deep emotional pain tend to use without even knowing what they actually say.
1) They go down their own struggle
People with deep emotional pain often minimize what they go through.
They will say that “it’s not a big deal” or “other people are worse.”
Maybe they were told they were too sensitive. Maybe they don’t want to overlook others. Or maybe they just learned to suppress their feelings so long that they don’t even know them anymore.
But the pain doesn’t disappear just because you ignore it. And sometimes people who use people to brush it are the signs that it weighs the maximum.
2) they apologize for everything
For a long time I didn’t realize how often I said “I’m sorry” because I had no reason.
If someone broke me, I apologize. If I asked for help, I apologize. If I was just a place I felt the need to say “sorry”.
Looking back, I see it was not just a habit. It reflected how I felt inside. Causing emotional pain by believing that I was a burden that my needs were inconvenience to others.
So without thinking, I was constantly trying to upset and smoothing things, even when there was nothing to fix.
People who do this often don’t realize that they do it. But if you apologize to yourself, ask for an apology for the things that don’t really apologize, it may be worth asking. Why do I feel like I have to say so much?
3) say “I’m good” even when they are not
In deep emotional pain, people often become experts to hide it. They don’t want to bother others, they seem weak or opened wounds, they are more buried. So when confessing instead, they default give a simple, automatic response. “I’m good.”
The human brain is strained to protect us from emotional distress and does it from the ways that do it by avoiding.
Studies have shown that pressure from emotions can create a sense of temporary control, but over time it is actually increasing stress and causes more painful feelings.
So when someone claims that it is good, even when their eyes say otherwise, they don’t always want to lie. Sometimes it is that accepting the truth feels even more overwhelming than keeping it.
4) They are joking about their pain
Humor can be a powerful overcoming mechanism. When someone accidentally jokes about their struggle.
But sometimes those jokes keep more truth than they leave.
Turning the Pain to humor feels smaller, it is easier to wear. It allows someone to express what they feel without making conversation too heavy. But just because one thing is said to be a smile that it is not real.
If you notice that constant self-worth jokes, especially about their own value or struggle, pay attention. They can say more than they realize.
5) They claim to have no help
The longest time I told myself I could handle everything on my own. No matter how depressed, exhausted or lost, I felt, I refused to ask for help. Instead, I would say “I’ve got it” or “I don’t want to worry about anyone.”
Looking back, I realize that this is not about independence. Was about fear. The fear of being a burden. It seems weak weak. Fear that if I opened, no one really cared.
Many people who feel deeply emotional are feeling the same way. They persuading them to be strong that it is not to be able to rely on others. But the truth is that no one means a lonely life.
And sometimes people who claim that they don’t need help, what it needs to be.
6) They constantly reassure others
You can expect someone to expect deep emotional pain, but sometimes they do the opposite. They become the person who always checks others.
They’ll say “Are you well?” Or “I just want to make sure you’re not upset” up and again, even when there is no real reason to worry.
They can come out of their way to comfort people, on smooth collisions or take responsibility for emotions that are not to carry them.
Why since you have experienced a deep emotional pain, you know how hard it feels, and the last thing you want to feel like that. But constantly prone to others, they often forget to be tending to them.
7) say they are just tired
When someone fights emotionally, they don’t always explain the words, even themselves. So instead they use a word that is safer, easier and more socially acceptable feels. “I’m just tired.”
And for sure, maybe they’re tired. But consumption is not always physical. Emotional pain dries.
Wearing unprepared feelings, everything is fine, and the fight against the internal struggle can leave a completely worn man, even if they have a full night’s sleep.
So when someone constantly tells us to be just tired, it may be worth asking what it is tired.
8) They say: “I’m used to it”
When pain lasts long enough, it stops feeling temporary. It just becomes a part of life. That’s why people who are insulting for a long time often say “that’s what” or “I’m used to it.”
They are not looking for sympathy. They do not expect things to change. They just accepted their pain as normal, even if it should not be.
But just because something is familiar with doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt you. And no one should pain in pain because they have learned how to endure it.
Weight pull is not always visible
If you read this distance, you may have realized something important that we don’t always see the way we expect.
People who make deep emotional pain don’t always cry, isolate themselves or ask for help. Sometimes smiles. They are joking. They assure others. They say they are good.
But the use of people can reveal more than they intend. And when you start paying attention, you may see that some people you know are more of the strongest, kindest people.
So if someone in your life often uses those expressions, don’t brush it. And if you know yourself in these words, remember it just because you have learned to live with pain, doesn’t mean you have to do alone.