I have conducted a fair share of my advisory sessions with individuals who are constantly selling their short, they suspect their abilities or are unaware of the value of the world.
You can see that they are compliments with such statements, “It’s not a big deal” or “I’ve just been lucky.” This behavior sometimes seems harmless, but they can be deeper release signs. One is rooted in the inability to recognize their value.
That’s what I want to study today. Eight qualities that tend to appear in people who are struggling to see their value. As someone who has been in a relationship and consulting sphere for many years, I noticed how these characteristics go not only in a romantic partnership, but also in companies, families and jobs.
Many of us are from time to time on one or two of these features, but people are persistent around self-esteem, often see many items on this list.
So if you or someone you know, I resonate with what I’m going to share is not worried. This is just a starting point of awareness. Let’s look at these eight unique features.
1. They reduce their achievements
I have viewed countless people’s brushes as if they are trivial. Imagine someone who just earned a job promotion, but when he congratulated, they say: “I think my boss was just necessary to fill in the place.” It is a classic example of minimizing human achievements.
The people in the sanatorium are standing in it, noting that people with low self-esteem often do not allow their credit to their reach.
Instead, they can attribute success to external factors such as luck or deadlines. This not only discounts on their hard work, but forevers the negative cycle when they never fully accept their efforts in their success.
The reason for this trend can be a fear of looking for arrogant. But there is a big difference between having a healthy feeling of pride, which you have implemented and faced it. When we can’t see the difference, we may find our victories so that it does not come.
2: They are excessively apologized
Have you ever falling into a crowded corridor in someone and catch yourself, saying: “Sorry.” All forgiveness is common in people who do not fully recognize their value. It’s like an instinctive response, almost as if they believe they are typical of the world.
I have seen the second nature of the second nature of the consulting. It stems from such a feeling that they “always make mistakes”, which in turn makes them very careful in social situations.
When you don’t appreciate yourself, you can feel it should be upset, peaceful or make sure you are not a load for each small thing apologize.
Brené Brown has a quote that resonates here. “It simply came to our notice then. Continuous apologies can be the “run” form from the possibility of conflict or rejection. Safe is to imply sin than to insist yourself.
3: They avoid the center of attention at all costs
I am to some extent myself, so I understand the anxiety that can come to the center of attention. However, there is a noticeable difference between the scenes between the simple preference and to actively avoid any form of form due to low self-esteem.
Today, psychology staff stressed that when individuals avoid being recognized, it often roots in the fear that they appear so eligible or worthy.
These links to psychologists refer to as “promoting syndrome” where you constantly feel like cheating everyone to think you are more capable than you are actually you are.
I remember working with a customer who refused to hold his birthday party in a public place. He was thoroughly to have his own achievements or celebrating his life. It was not just social anxiety. He could not stand on the thought that others can praise him because he did not believe it was worth celebrating.
It is a classic example that is in the center of attention in the deeper issues of self-esteem.
4. They are looking for an external authentication ruthless
Many people want to ratify. Is part of a human nature that wants to feel and hear. But for someone who fights with their self-esteem, foreign validation can become a pension. They end up with great rely on friends, romantic partners or colleagues to determine that they are “enough.”
Once I had a conversation with a close friend who would send me each email projects he wrote, even something as confirmation. He wanted constant confidence that what he did was acceptable.
Because of everything that is mentioned, such behavior keeps you stuck as you depend on others to feel of security or jurisdiction.
Once Michelle Obama said: “We need to do better to put ourselves to the list. That line always strikes me when I think of people who prioritize the ratification of others on their own confirmation.
If you do not believe in your own value, you can depend on external sources to supplement that invalid. At the end of the day, no amount of external praise can fully convince you of your value if you don’t go to yourself.
5: They have trouble setting boundaries
I have written before how important the boundaries are in any relationship, romantic, family or professional. (Maybe you will read my post on how to navigate tough love without bridges burning).
One thing I noticed is that people who are fighting with self-esteem are also struggling to maintain clear boundaries. Eventually, if you don’t see your needs as valid, why do you claim them?
In my advice practice, I often meet customers who allow family members to walk all over them or be more overwhelmed than they can’t bring them as they can’t bring. Deep down, they can believe they have less right to climb.
This can lead to indignation, burning and inaccessible to the deep meaning. However, they ironically, they do not realize that some of the problem has recognized the validity of their own borders.
It’s a heavy cycle. Low self-esteem leads to weak boundaries, weak limits lead to used or neglected, and that feeling enhances low self-esteem.
Breaking this chain requires gradually dealing with border settlement skills, like a polite drop, which attracts you too thin and remember that your well-being is not less important than anyone else.
6: They are afraid to reject more intensively than others
Let’s be honest. No one particularly enjoys the rejection. But for fragile self-esteem for those who are rejected. Is it a job, date or opinion, can be terrible? The net reject of rejection can feel the personal condemnation of their whole character.
Daniel Golman is known for his work on emotional intelligence, and although he often quotes compassion and awareness, it is worth understanding how emotional intelligence plays a role.
If you do not meet your own value, each negative outcome felt the soil. It is difficult to decipher the difference and statement of situational interactions for your total value as a person.
I remember a customer who was so afraid to say “no” that he would support his efforts to just avoid the opportunity to hear it. For him, not trying to feel safer than placing himself there and hit already on fragile selfishness.
Although the fear of rejection is normal, it clearly limits it when it allows you to pursue opportunities that actually can actually build your trust.
7. They communicate with relationships even when harmful
Have you ever left in a situation than you have to have just because the fear of being single or unworthy was stronger than the desire to be in a healthy environment?
People who underestimate their value often do it. I have seen this pattern in professional parameters. Where someone stays in a toxic work environment and personal relationships that clearly dry or even emotionally abusive.
Maya Angelu wrote once: “Nothing can loosen the light that shines from the inside.” But if you don’t recognize that you have that internal light, you can close the people who treat you badly, mistakenly in love or acceptance their crumbs.
You can also believe that this is the best you deserve, so you have a better healing of walking or looking for a better treatment that makes me feel scared game.
In my book Cut the app. How to overcome code dependence in your relationshipI referred to the code of dependence. When your self-esteem is, the criminal addiction can be raised. You don’t stay because you are happy, but because the net idea of leaving is too depressing.
It’s a difficult cycle to break, but recognizing your characteristic value is a critical first step.
8. They are struggling to accept compliments
I’m big to keep up to the end, friends. Compliments, someone who does not recognize their value can feel almost painful. They can respond to the ignition “Oh, it was nothing” or even complimenting the other person. It’s like they’re wearing an emotional Teflon, any praises are just sliding.
This was a challenge that I personally encountered when I started sharing my notes publicly. I read good comments from readers, but I immediately discredit them, thinking that they are just “pleasant”. Over time, I realized that compliments were to be dismissed because not only what others saw in me but also my own potential.
When someone struggles to believe good things about them, every compliment can feel like a blank gesture, or worse, lie.
But the reality is that real compliments are often worthwhile for who you are or what you have done. Learning to say: “Thank you, I appreciate it, – a small but powerful step towards hugging your real value.
Final Thoughts:
All of these traits that are taken together are painting anyone’s picture who does not see their own value. Sometimes people identify with one or two of these characteristics: Other times, they deal with the entire list.
If it sounds like this, don’t panic, then awareness is half of the battle. Realizing where you are standing, the first step is to break up with patterns that keep you at a low self-esteem.
Many tools can help you move your mindset. Therapy, support groups, journalists, or even finding a tutor that believes in you. It’s not about becoming proud. It’s about realizing that you have unique skills, strong and day legal place in this world.
Since Susan Cain is known for its work on invasion and sensitivity, accepting your typical properties can be a liberation force that lives healthy relations and more valid life.
Even children’s steps, such as compliments or clearly speaking clearly, can be confident in time. It doesn’t happen overnight, but every little victory serves as evidence that you are valuable, capable and joy.
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