My old college roommates said:
And that’s right.
We often meet people who look very beautiful at first glance. They always smile, always fit and never face. They are the kind of people who feel you feel about how you have known them for years, even if you only met.
But have you noticed something?
When the conflict arises, these “extremely beautiful” individuals can often surprise us with certain qualities that were previously hidden under their sugar appearance.
Well, let’s study it together. When we dive into human behavior and personality properties, we will discover seven features that seem very friendly to be very friendly that clashes arise.
Prepare more about these fascinating individuals and how to understand their qualities can help us to better navigate our relationship and continue to grow as individuals.
Let’s start.
1) Unexpected reliability
Not surprising. People who seemed to be very friendly at first, often indicate an unexpected level of approval when collisions occur.
You see that being “too pleasant” does not mean they have no opinions or beliefs. On the contrary, they have strong views, but they choose to keep them in peace.
But when conflict arises, they will not hesitate to insist on their beliefs, and sometimes quite strongly. A sudden change may be amazing if you expect them to continue their extreme pleasant behavior with even disagreements.
This feature does not necessarily be negative. In fact, the reliability can be a sign of healthy self-esteem and strong communication skills. However, this is a sudden shift from a commonly friendly person who can catch us from the guard.
The next time you find yourself in disagreement with someone who is usually “very nice” remember this, they also have opinions.
2) Excessive apology
Have you ever met it?
Once I had a collaborator, let’s call him a sam. Sam was an elegant episode. Always happy, always useful. But when the disagreements have appeared, I noticed a unique feature. Sam would apologize. Much.
At first, I thought it was just his way to soften the tension. But over time I realized that it was more than that.
Even when the conflict was not his fault, or when he had a valid point, Sam would apologize. It was as if he believed to say sorry to magically solve all problems.
This supercomputer not only diluted the weight of his apologies, but often behind the real problems.
Although it is wrong when a sign of maturity, it can sometimes interfere with constructive conversations and problems.
Thus, the people are aware of this tendency to apologize to your “extremely pleasant” friends and remind you that it is well to stand on their land. We are all here to learn and grow up.
3) Hidden outrage
Let’s do a moment.
People who are always all smiles and sunshine. Often there is a storm that makes them under a quiet surface.
It’s always a “pleasant” to put pressure on the feelings of indignation or anger. But just like a bomb like this, these hidden emotions are finally exploded, often in the heat of the conflict.
I’ve seen it. Dear friend, always the epitudes of goodness, shocked me during disagreement. The flood of indignation came out, he kept it for months. It wasn’t beautiful.
The problem is not frustrating. We all feel that from time to time. The problem lies after it doesn’t take it, when it comes to surfaces.
By constantly playing the “beautiful” card, they delay to face these feelings until they don’t become too big to do gently.
Be aware of this potential feature in your seemingly “extremely beautiful” acquaintances. Encourage open and honest communication to prevent frustration from being turned into an unexpected storm.
4) For sin
Here is another interesting remark. Those who are “very pleasant” often do not like confrontation to such a measure so they go to extreme lengths to avoid it.
And I mean extreme lengths.
They can agree with you, even when they are not, just avoid disagreement. They can endure unpleasantness, or even allow their needs to be in search of peace.
This is neither healthy or relationships for them.
Why do you ask?
Because avoiding confrontation, they avoid the real solution to honest communication and problems. And let’s be real. No relationship can prosper without them.
Thus, if you notice your “extremely pleasant” friends or colleagues that are consistently avoiding confrontation can be a good idea to address it. Encourage them to express their feelings and needs openly. After all, now a small conflict can prevent much later annoyance.
5) emotional pressure
This can surprise you.
Research shows that the pressure of emotions can lead to stress, relationships and even health problems.
Now think about it.
Those who have a very pleasant “don’t” often end up pressing their negative emotions trying to keep their pleasant behavior. They whisper their feelings, hiding their true emotional state behind the constant smile.
When the conflict arises, this emotional pressure can set fire. Holiday emotions can at a surface surface at once, which leads to a burst that seems out of character for our usually “nice” friend.
It is necessary to understand that it is good to express the negative emotions constructively. It is part of being human and having a healthy relationship.
Now, if you notice this feature of your “very beautiful” friends, remind them that it is good to show their real feelings. After all, authenticity is estimated to be more than a forced smile.
6) The fear of rejection
Behind “Not Very nice” is often a deep fear of rejection. These individuals can believe that they have to be too beautiful to like or accept each time.
It’s a hard place.
When the conflict arises, this fear can apologize to their extremely appropriate or excessive apology. They can even take sin for things that are not their fault to just avoid potential rejection.
However, it is important to remind them, and ourselves that we are all perfect imperfect humans. We don’t have to please everyone all the time. It’s good to disagree, it’s good to make mistakes and it’s good to be imperceptibly.
After all, real ties are built on authenticity and mutual acceptance, not constantly need to please.
7) Lack of self-service
This is determined.
People who seem “very nice” often ignore their own needs and well-being in their search to keep everyone happy. They can constantly put others, even at the cost of their mental or physical health.
This lack of self-service during the conflict becomes more obvious. They can take more than they can handle or accept accusation that is theirs just to maintain peace.
But that’s what we need to remember. Self-esteem is not selfish. It is essential.
First of all, taking care of themselves, they not only support their well-being, but also strengthen their ability to establish healthier and more balanced relations.
Accepting authenticity
Too pleasing is not necessarily life imprisonment. By self-knowledge and a little determination, it is possible to balance the goodness with the reliability.
Start notice when you press your emotions or avoiding confrontation at your own well-being price. Think in cases when being “very nice” resulted in indignation or unnecessary stress.
Self-employment is the first step in change.
Now think about what can happen if you allow yourself to express your real feelings. Imagine freedom, if you put boundaries and prioritize your needs as many others.
At first it may feel uncomfortable. It is often changed. But keep in mind that authenticity is not a pleasure. It’s about being true to yourself.
Take that first step toward authenticity. Accept your real feelings, confirm your opinion, set your limits and most importantly, take care of yourself.
Who knows the validity of the journey can just lead you to a more performance and balanced life where goodness comes from abundance than commitment.