Have you ever experienced that you are stuck in a knot involving the same kind of partner and higher to be disappointed every time? You tell yourself that this time will be different, but in some way it’s never.
I’ve seen it happens again and again. People blame bad luck, bad time or just assume all the good. But the real reason. It’s not a success. It is not a fate. It’s you
The form of a relationship, the patterns you unconsciously repeat, even the energy that reflects, everything plays a role. And until you recognize what is going on, you will continue to end the wrong people.
Let’s talk about why it happens and is more important, what can you do to finally break the cycle?
1) Do you repeat old patterns
Have you ever noticed how they seem to be followed by the same scenario, just with different actors? It’s not accidental. It’s a pattern and it’s one that you are unconsciously repeating.
Maybe you always go emotionally inaccessible colleagues. Perhaps you continue to find in a unilateral relationship where you give more than you receive. Whatever, these patterns don’t just happen.
They come from somewhere, your past experience, childhood dynamics, even beliefs you keep about love and your own value.
The problem is unless you recognize the example, you can’t break it. Your brain craves familiarity even when it is unhealthy. So instead of choosing something else, you are constantly falling for what makes it right, even if it’s wrong.
If each relationship is done in the same way, it’s time to ask yourself. “What am I unknowingly repeat?” Because the only way to change your love life is to change the story that you continue to tell yourself.
2) Your criteria may be too high
You have probably said that the key to finding the right partner has never been solved. The goal is high. Learn your value. Relax for the perfect game.
But what if your impossible high standards actually keep you in a bad relationship in a cycle?
Here’s something. When you put the bar so high that no one can realistically meet it, you end up the pursuit of partners who feel ideal for you.
Or worse, you ignore big potential partners because they don’t check each box on your list.
And when you are inevitably realizing that everyone’s “perfect” choice was not perfect, the cycle repeated itself.
Having standards is good. But if you find yourself disappointed, ask yourself:
3) You make the intensity of love wrong
If relationships don’t feel like a rollercoaster, it even counts. It’s a way of thinking that many people have emotional heights and are low for real communication.
I was falling into this trap myself. Unpredictable, emotionally accused relationship felt touching as something at once.
But here is the truth. Intensity is not love. It’s just an intensity. And often, it burns insecurity, anxious attachment or even code dependence.
Real love is not about chaos. It’s about consistency, trust and mutual respect. If you continue to find yourself in a relationship that feels like consuming than comforting can tell the time what love really loves love.
I get deeper in breaking the app. How to cope with code dependence in your relationship, especially when it comes to unhealthy emotional forms that do not publish love.
But the first step. Given that stability is not boring. What is love is really supposed to be?
4) You ignore red flags (because you want to see the good)
We’ve all done it. You meet someone, and although there are clear warning signs, you convince yourself that they just misunderstood. You focus on their potential instead of their reality.
I used to be an expert in these turning red flags “Quartets” and toxic behavior “things we can work through.” But here’s what. People show you who they are early. It’s just a question – you’re ready to see it.
Maya Angelou is the best. “When someone shows who they are, for the first time, believe them.”
If you continue to end up with the wrong partners, ask yourself: You ignore what’s right in front of you because you want the story to be a happy end. Because real love doesn’t require you to ignore reality. It blooms in honesty.
5) Do you think chemistry means compatibility
That instant sparkle. Butterflies. The electricity when your eyes meet in the room. It feels like a fate, isn’t it?
I also believed in it. If it were not immediate, intense involvement, I assumed that the connection was not planned. But that’s what I have learned, the chemistry is that. Chemistry: This does not mean you are actually compatible in the long run.
Involvement can cloud judgment. It can view you the main differences, justify bad behavior and convince you that someone is right for you when they are not clear.
Real compatibility is not just about the spark. We are talking about common values, emotional security and really like your. If your relationship is all fire and no reason, it’s time to review what actually plays a good game.
6) You choose from the place of solitude
When you are tired of being alone, it’s easy to convince yourself that any relationship is better than no relationship.
I’ve been there, hurrying something because I didn’t want to be alone, only later to realize that I had not overlooked all the signs we were not a good game.
But here is the heavy truth. When you choose a partner alone, you really don’t choose them. Do you choose help? And it almost always leads to frustration.
Relationship should add in your life, Invalid Fill. If you are a solution to avoid being alone, it’s time to stand back and focus on the construction of your favorite life.
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7) I am attracted to what is familiar even if unhealthy
If you grew up around an unhealthy relationship, chaos can feel at home. And without even realizing it, you can choose the partners who coincide with that familiar dysfunction, not good for you, but because it feels normal.
This is a hard pill to swallow. No one wants to believe that they are stretched toxic dynamics, but if all your relationships leave you unfulfilled, dried, are constantly worried. “
The truth is that we are not always pursuing what is healthy. We pursue what we know.
And until you break that cycle, keep repeating the same painful patterns. Treatment means that they know that love should not feel a struggle for survival. It should feel like security.
Breaking the cycle starts with you
If you have known yourself in these patterns, don’t panic. Awareness is the first step in change. The truth is that we do not only attract accidental partners. We do it because at some level it is what we have agreed to search.
Getting rid of these cycles doesn’t happen to blame yourself or on the mistakes of the past. We are talking about moving conscious elections.
It’s about what you want with yourself what you want, what you need, and most importantly, what is no longer ready to tolerate.
One of my biggest shifts in my own love life realized that love is not something you find. It’s something you build with the right person. And that starts by choosing otherwise.
If you want to deepen, thinking about love and relationship, I recommend watching this video by Justin Brown.
He violates why he tried the law of capture and improve the perfect partner actually behaves with you, and on what to focus on.