Have you ever noticed how everyday grind can silently delete our relationship with our children?
For a moment we pursue the little ones who will not stop talking. Next, we share a house with teenagers who hardly say a word.
Everything is very common to wake up one day and wonder. “When did we become strangers?”
I have seen many parents. I have covered myself that I was caught in work, work and endless, that real conversations with our children fade against the background.
But you don’t have to stay like that.
Over time, I have taken a number of practices that actually spoil those obstacles and invite honest dialogue.
Below you will find nine simple ways to help your child more easily open. You can try to easily relieve them at a time or slowly for your schedule and your child’s personality.
Let’s dive.
1: Listen more than you speak
Very often, we jump when our child stops, thinking that we help give advice or clarify a point.
But the interruption for the child feels that their thoughts are not worthy to hear fully.
The next time your child begins to talk, maybe about a funny moment with a school project or friends. Try to resist to resist to resist.
Let them talk until they stop natural. Even after completing them, a brief break can be powerful.
They can use that extra second to continue, or they can clarify themselves.
By giving them fully floor, you respect their ideas, no matter how small or big they look.
In time, they will learn that when they talk to you, they will not be cut or free. This trust is huge and often smoothes the road to deeper discussion on more personal or sensitive topics.
This approach also allows you to really listen to their prospect. Children see the world differently than adults, and sometimes we miss their unique worldview, because we make our own so fast.
2. Share your own stories
Children often see adults as busy creatures who disappear for work or instrument and return only to manage household tasks. This can make them think that we live in a completely separate world.
The gap with small updates about our day can be surprisingly affected.
Maybe mention a funny mistake in a grocery store or a partner. The monumental-small jokes do not have to go long.
When you open, you send a delicate message. “My experience is important, and so do so. Let’s exchange stories. “
It lowers the electric gap that often perceives themselves and adults between their lives and adults.
In addition, the exchange of personal TIDBITS can act as a conversation starts.
For example, if you talk about trying a new recipe for dinner, they can disguise their food preferences or food in school.
From there, you can put in key directions more meaningful, all stems from a small piece of your day.
3. Show consistent affection
I have realized that children are watching everything we do. If I’m in a bad mood, the children take it right away.
Greeting smile or plain “How was your day?” Can feel comfortable for them.
Similarly, such gestures are building a consistent message. “I’m here and I think of you.”
4. Ask open questions
“How was school?” is classic but usually leads to “good” or “good.” When we present yes or no or one word answering questions, we inevitably limit the conversation.
Instead, try questions that create a story. Ask. “What was the funny thing that happened during the break?” or “Who is laughing to you today and why?”
These prompts open the door more than a simple answer. They encourage the child to think about the events of the day and choose the details they find meaningful or fun.
The open question can also help you assess their emotional state without excessively invading.
If they are delayed or only a short answer, it can be a sign that they are not ready to chat or they need a little more tip.
On the contrary, if they dive right and share a long history, it will take a real interest for a moment, asking questions.
Can you discover something about their companies, an object they are passionate or their passionate anxiety?
Each additional details are the opportunity to understand them better, which is exactly what is building a deeper connection.
5. Validate their feelings
When children come to us with anxiety, excitement or frustrations, our instinct can be their emotions for comfort. “It’s not a big deal.”
For example, I once told my daughter. “Ah, is nothing to worry about,” when he worried about school performance.
The result. He was mixed.
Although good intentions, these can make such expressions to get rid of their jobs. In many cases, many of them need to hear that their emotions are understandable.
Try to say. “I see how it scares you” or “It should have been really exciting.”
Application of emotions creates an environment where children feel safe without judgment.
They learn to be good to talk about what is on their minds because you won’t brush them.
Over time, the sense of security becomes an honest conversation, which allows children to share not only easy items, but also their hardest challenges.
6. Respect their boundaries
Sometimes the child is not just ready to share.
They can have time to work out or find out their thoughts on how they feel. If we make a very heavy demanding answers, or we are immersed in all the details. We risk them further away.
It can also force them to feel how they should have a “good reason” to keep them something.
Instead, gently let them know that you are available. A phrase like I am when you need me can be significantly comforted.
If they reject your invitation to speak, resist feeling offended or disappointed. Remember that children, like adults, can feel moments where they are in place.
Respecting these boundaries show that you appreciate their autonomy. When they decide to open, they will do it, because they trust you, not because they feel forced.
7. Get involved in overall activities
Connection does not always occur face to face. Sometimes, it’s side by side.
My son and I made a rite of cooking together in the weekend. We cut the vegetables, mix the sauce and talk about random topics.
Focusing on the activity, the pressure “big talk” disappears. Feelings tend to be more naturally superficial in this quiet settings.
Whether it’s a picture, the dog walks or prepares, shared hobbies can be the best conversation starts.
So choose an activity you enjoy. Perhaps Lego sets or baking cookies cookies and makes it a repetitive mini-tradition. Let the flow of conversation.
8. with a practical honesty
If I catch my children who say a white lie, I try not to spell on them. Instead, I talk about why honesty trusts, and why I appreciate it at our home.
I am also convinced that honestly with them. If I can’t give them permission for PlayDate I explain the real reason instead of brushing them back. ”
Children feel when something is hidden, and it can discourage them to confuse you.
The next time you have to say “no” or correct them, quietly explain your reasoning. Show honesty passes in two ways and they will be more inclined to be true.
This brings me to the next point …
9. Praise honesty and vulnerability
Let’s say that your child comes to you, confessing that something has broken or forgotten the homework.
Your first impulse can be their reprimand. However, focusing solely on an error can discourage them from being honest next time.
Instead, start thanking them for telling them the truth. A simple “I appreciate you trust me to it” can mean a lot.
Of course, you can still refer to the necessary behavior to correct.
But the leader in recognizing their honesty sets a constructive holiday. It teaches them to move forward better than hiding the problem.
This positive strengthening of honesty is the basis for more transparent communication.
In time, they will understand that they can approach you, even when they are afraid of your response, because you confirm that honesty is appreciated.
Wrapper
Install an area where our children feel comfortable, not a one-time fix. It is a continuous process that develops because they grow, and their needs are changing.
If we consistently put effort, these fast moments such as a quick school conversation or reflection of sleeping turn into our relationships for our relationship.
Whether you are a baby’s parent just find their words or teen who seems to have a million questions, there is always a room to reinforce your connection.
By hearing, sharing and compassion, we give our children a safe place to talk about their thoughts and turn them into confident, authentic individuals.